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Raphael trudged through the snow outside the Keep, heading towards the Amarrian shuttle that he had taken to get there. CONCORD was still enforcing its no-fly status on him, reducing his choices to mere non-combat vessels. As he fought to get his flight status back, he was trying to get things in order for his return to the front.

He wrapped his uniform coat around him but it did little to block the chilling wind, the snow crunching beneath his boots. The shuttle was in sight, parked on an out-of-the-way landing pad, when he suddenly dropped to a knee.

“Goddammit…” he muttered, the curse quickly stifled by the wind.

He got back to his feet and took a couple more steps before dropping to both knees and falling forward, holding his arms coming out to keep him from hitting the ground.

“You idiot…” he grumbled to himself, a mixture of lament and anger in his voice.

He slammed his fist onto the snow covered walkway.

“She’s done nothing to you! How could you!”

He twisted his hand in the snow, gathering a fistful of it.

“For her!? You did it for her? You’re nothing to her, you’re only her past now.”

He pushed himself up to sit on his heels, his uniform trousers beginning to soak through as he kneeled in the snow.

“She saved you, saved you from throwing it all away, and this is how you repay her!? You betray her!?”

His voice carried for a fair bit as he almost shouted out.

“It’s over, you need to realize that! She’s destroying you!”

“Goddamit, I know! I know, alright?”

He went quiet as he realized he had answered himself. His chest heaved slightly as he sat there, the snow blowing around him.

“I know, I know it all, and I hate myself for it.”

He suddenly got a very worried look on his face and his snow covered hands shot up as he put them behind his head, his breathing quickening.

“She’s gone, let her go, she’s gone, let her go, she’s gone…”

The words rushed out as he tried to calm himself.

“Shesgonelethergo…”

He let out a long sigh before his voice filled with sorrow.

“I can’t…”

The uniformed men came running from the shuttle.

“Colonel! Colonel, are you alright?!”

They reached Raphael and grabbed his arms, helping him up.

“I’m alright…” he muttered, his voice weak.

“Let’s get him inside!” One called to the other, hefting Raphael’s arm over his shoulder as the other did the same.

The two men carried him to the shuttle as he dragged his legs, trying to walk with them but finding himself exhausted. As they reached the door to the shuttle, he mumbled to them.

“Stop...”

They stopped, and Raphael craned his neck to look back at the fortress in the mountain. It looked peaceful through the gently falling snow, hiding the hostility inside.

“I can’t…”

He turned his head back around and the soldiers helped him into the shuttle, the door closing behind them as the engines began to whine, warming up for the ride home.