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"It's finally over, it's finally come to an end," he says aloud. "This sick joke is over." He reflects on the encounter that ended it all.
8th day of the 8th month, YC 113
Shalee Lianne slumped against the window, watching as they entered into warpdrive on the interbus shuttle, stars bleeding by in long strings of brilliant white light. She sniffled. "Everything is wrong. I just want to go home."
"Which home?" Raphael asked. He had just picked her up from The Last Gate, a drunken mess, after she had sent him a message asking for help.
She sniffled again. "I don't know. I just want..."
"..To go home, yes, I know. What's happened?" he asks in a tired voice. A combination of the fact that he had to go into The Last Gate and the fatigue of a long work day were putting a slight edge on his voice.
"Tiger has a baby."
"Wonderful news," he replied sarcastically. The thought that there was a miniature version of Tigerfish Torpedo running about the cluster did nothing to ease his mood.
She picked up on the sarcastic tone in his voice and turned her head to look at him, frowning, then closed her mouth. "Nevermind."
Raphael sighed. He had told her of Tigerfish before and who he was and what he represented, and was not in the mood to deal with her angry reactions to typical responses. Getting mad at someone reacting to any news about Tigerfish besides 'He is dead' with disgust was akin to getting mad when someone laughed at a joke you told. "What of this baby?"
Shalee Lianne sighed as well, "Are we going to Amarr?"
"If that's where you want to go," he answered, ignoring the fact that she completely ignored his question.
"Yes."
"So tell me why everything is awful, then, while we travel," he suggested, trying to find out the reason she asked him to come.
"You don't care."
He didn't care about the baby, of course. No one in a right mind did, but he did care about why it was so important to her. "I might."
"But you don't. I can tell. So why ask?"
"Because you obviously wanted to tell."
"Not anymore. It doesn't matter."
Raphael sighed inwardly with frustration. "Don't be difficult."
"I'm not."
"Then show me you're not by doing what you wanted and tell me what's wrong."
"But you don't even care so why bother?"
Raphael sighed inwardly again. This was the same sort of shit he was always dealing with when it came to her. If you didn't react to anything she had to say in just the way she wanted, she closed down and became the most difficult person in the world to talk with. "I came out here, didn't I?" He asked. He flew all the way out to Gallente space to pick her drunken ass up from a pirate bar when she asked for help, and now she's telling him that he doesn't care.
She nodded. "Why?"
"I told you that I was here to help, didn't I? Why'd you ask me to come?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. 'Cause I thought you'd help me."
"And here I am. So tell me what's wrong."
"I'm sad," came her simple reply.
Raphael frowned inwardly. It was like pulling teeth. "Why are you sad?"
Shalee swayed her hand, "I just am. Nothing makes sense anymore."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. I'm a capsuleer!"
Raphael frowned. "Yes..."
"And I have been. For years."
"A couple, yes."
"And Tiger has a baby."
Raphael knit his brows in slight confusion. "I don't see the correlation."
"He didn't tell me."
"So?"
"He should have."
"I'd hope you would be spared a lot of what he has to say." He thinks briefly back to the last time the two had talked and he told her to stay away from him for both her sake and everyone around her's sake. "Why should he have?"
"He is my boyfriend."
Raphael stared at her for a few moments as a frown slowly develops on his face, coming in heavily. "Excuse me?"
"We are dating. Were. I mean, if hes not going to tell me about a baby what else is he not going to tell me?"
Raphael fought the urge to yell at her. He's likely not telling her everything that Raphael had already told her about him. How he's a professed Blooder and one of the larger criminal capsuleers and enemies of the Empire. "Dating?! I told you to steer clear of the man!"
Shalee cringed at his tone. "He was nice!"
'Of course he fucking was!' He wanted to yell at her. "They can't lure you away without being so! I told you to stay away from him, and for good reason. And look what not listening to me has gotten you."
Shalee frowned. "You're not my Father."
Raphael thought about how she's goddamn lucky that he wasn't her father or else he'd already have his fingers around her neck. "Regardless. I advised you to stay clear of the man, you did not, and now look. You're here crying over him."
She frowned again. "Why are you being so mean?"
"Because you refused the help I offered you before when I suggested you not get involved? How do I know you won't just shrug off this help that you're asking for now?" He didn't understand how someone could simultaneously ask for your help when actively ignoring it.
"I don't want your help."
"Then why did you ask me to come here?"
"I changed my mind is all."
Changed her mind, because he wasn't going to coddle and console her for ignoring his urges to avoid the man who was now causing her problems. Raphael had had enough. He'd been dealing with this exact kind of thing with her for over a year, and she never stopped, just kept jumping from one problem to the next. "Fine, then," he said, letting years of pent up frustration with the woman pour out of him. "You obviously don't want my help. I'll make sure that you get to Amarr, and then after that, that's it. You can go and get in more trouble and try to find your own way out. I tried to help you, but you're still that stubborn, foolish girl from before, and I'm through with you. I'm tired of cleaning up your messes, tired of defending your actions. You've been nothing but a headache for me for a long time, and I don't even know why I've tried to help you for so long after everything we've been though. I'm done with you."
Raphael put as much physical space between the two of them as the shuttle would allow, and neither of them said a word for the remainder of the trip.
The two of them haven't spoken since, and 'never again' would be too soon.
Raphael takes a long drink from his flask, reflecting on the entire ordeal he had gone through with the once red-headed woman.
"I've realized that this whole time all of my beliefs and convictions must have been nothing but a joke to her. Our entire history has been a farce, a comedy of errors." He takes another drink. "Or a tragedy," he adds quietly.
He thinks back on the first time he met the woman. She was but one of the two Praetorians who were tagging along with his old friend Garst Tyrell as the two took a trip to visit the EVE Gate. Raphael wasn't even a member of the Praetoria yet, still running his mining business full time. The group of four made it to the anomaly unscathed, and after a brief visit, split into pairs. Raphael and Garst went off to explore, and she went off with her then-boyfriend, Zenton Karvash.
He didn't even know at that time that he would enter into service with the Praetoria, let alone develop a deep and meaningful relationship with that young girl. One that would change the both of them for both the better and worst. Taking another quick drink, he thinks about the start of the whole thing, and the first serious conversation he had with her, when she only a young idealistic girl.
26th day of the 6th month, YC 111
Raphael Saint walked into the Amarr Legio Bascillia, taking in the architecture. He toured the entire structure before finding Shalee.
"Evening," she said as she looked up at him.
Raphael wore a look of concern as he addressed her. "How are you, Shalee?"
"Well, thank you for asking. And yourself?" she asked as she slid over on the bench so he could sit with her.
"Fine, thank you. I am glad to see that you are okay," he replied, taking a seat.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"I was afraid after you rushed off yesterday and disappeared with Zenton. I thought something may have happened. But I am glad to find you well."
" Oh...right. That, forgot about that. Sorry for dashing off so suddenly...I didn't mean to be rude."
"No, no need to apologize. It seemed urgent. Important matters must be solved with haste. To tell you the truth, I came here hoping to find you and see if all was alright. I don't come here often, and I do not think I will make a habit of it."
"We had had a fight earlier...I just needed to speak with him. It is all sorted out now though."
Raphael stood up, satisfied. "Well that is good. I shall leave you to your previous business then. I did not wish to interrupt."
Shalee glanced up at him. "Alright, though I wasn't really doing anything."
"Oh? Then do you mind if I stay?" He said, holding his ground.
"Of course I do not mind, I'd be rather glad for the company to be honest."
Raphael sat back down, occupying his previous spot. "You know, I finally ran into some brass at P.F. It seems you were right. However, do you mind if I pry a bit?"
Shalee arched a delicate brow "Oh? Which ones?"
"Captain Newelle. We talked for a short while, before she left for the Basilica, I believe."
"Ah, Captain Newelle isn't so bad, considering some of the rest."
"About the prying, I was just wondering of your relationship with Zenton. The quiet nature and the talk of a fight seems somewhat suspicious. It is a professional relationship, no?"
"It is both professional and personal."
Raphael takes his turn to raise an eyebrow. "Personal? You mind if I ask how? A friendship?"
"It's more than that....I guess it is a bit difficult to explain. We are in love?"
Raphael sighed somewhat heavily. "Shalee...do you really believe that?"
Shalee looked at him curiously as he sighed. "Why wouldn't I believe it...?"
Raphael looked somewhat uneasy. "Shalee, love is a divine power. We are not capable of it. Only God can love."
She frowned ever so lightly in response. "But why would you say such a thing, have you never loved anyone? Had a deep affection for another?"
In turn, he adopted a slightly stern look on his face. "Of course not. I am not God. Shalee, the closest one can get to love is the bond between mother and child." He looked away from her as he continued. "Love is a divine power. To think one as undivine as man is almost heresy. You love, do you? Do you also think yourself omnipotent?"
She stared at him for the longest of moments. "We are not drones, Raphael. We are human, created in his image. If God can love than so can we. It is a gift, why would you deny yourself of one of the most precious gifts of all?"
"We are made in his image, Shalee. We are not made in his greatness. You can get close to his love with friendship, we can get close to his omnipotence with technology. But we cannot compare. We merely ape his power."
"You may label it with whatever words you like. But whatever the feeling is, deeper than friendship, then that is what I have for Zenton."
Raphael sighed, seeing he was not getting through. "Shalee, your outrageous claims will subside with time. You will see that I am right. Your notion of love is wrong. If it is love, than why does it hurt so many? It is almost blasphemous to call such a relationship 'love.' "
"Well then what would you call it?"
"Farce."
"Trying to be like God only hurts."
"You have no emotion?"
"Of course I do, Shalee. I feel. I have friends, concerns, wants."
"Have you ever wanted a woman?"
Raphael couldn't help but laugh. "That is not love, Shalee. That is lust. They are completely different."
"We aren't sleeping together. So I hardly call what I feel as lust."
"Then tell me, Shalee. Love, being divine, does not hurt. Have you ever felt hurt by the 'love' you have for Zenton?"
"That is an unfair question."
"How so? If you two are truly in love, then you would never hurt each other."
"Sometimes people do things that aren't meant to hurt the other but it happens regardless."
"I would think that someone in love would always consider the other, and never be selfish. Such is what makes love what it is. Selfless devotion. Loyalty."
"Have you never felt or given love? Not even to a parent or sibling? It is a very sad thing."
"I do not follow, Shalee. If lacking the divine is sad, then this world is very depressing indeed. We all strive to be divine, for we are made in his image. We will never attain it though." After a moment, he added, "I guess it is a melancholy thought."
Shalee furrowed her brows, feeling sorry for him. "I just don't feel that it is a sin to love. But I suppose to each their own. I hope someday you'll feel differently."
He shook his head slightly. "It is not I who will see differently. You will come to know the truth of my words, Shalee. I just hope it does not hurt too much when it happens."
She fell silent for a long moment, feeling a bit off. Such an alien way of thinking and yet after the week she has had, she could make sense of what he said. "I hope you're wrong."
Of course, he had loved a woman before. A wonderful and intimate relationship that ended in heartache. Heartache wrought by his own hands. Looking back on the conversation, he smiled and laughed slightly to himself about how flimsy and foolish the philosophy he had constructed to console himself was. Yet, despite all that, it still rung true. Every time he has let himself fall, or even consider it, things have done nothing but explode in his face, the shrapnel of anger and loss embedding itself further into his heart and mind with each one.
However, he had only but one such experience when he encountered Shalee Lianne. She was simply a young girl he saw heading down the tragic path he had travelled, and he wanted to help her. She reminded him of his fist love, the woman he had betrayed, a woman who's eventual death he would blame on no one but himself. He continued to talk to her, to offer advice, and a friendship between the two praetorians began to take form. But one day, in one of their usual meetings, something changed.
14th day of the 8th Month, YC 111
Shalee grinned as the pair sat at a table in My Blue Heaven. "So are we going to 'talk', or is this what you had in mind. Idle chitchat." She was fine with it either way.
Raphael shook his head. "No, I wanted to talk about what happened a few nights ago. You're account of what happened. You seemed to be quite interested in mine last night."
"I thought you didn't want to talk about it. But now you do? But like you said there is nothing to talk about....right?"
"I tried to forget about it, but your pressing just made it swim in my mind all day today. And despite what I said, you seemed to think there was something."
Shalee shook her head. "No. There was nothing." She downed a shot in one gulp and winced softly as it slid down her throat. Her eyes squeezed together for a second, then she blinked. "Why. Do you think there was something?"
He shook his head slowly. "We seem to be going in circles. But if you say there was nothing, and I said there was nothing...then perhaps I was fixating on nothing..."
She looked at him for a long moment. "So what were you thinking about today then."
Raphael sighed and looked down at the table. "Nothing....just your actions...and your impressions..."
"Because I said you looked like you wanted to kiss me?"
"I wanted to kiss you? I don't remember placing you on my lap, Shalee."
"No I said you looked like you wanted to. Not that you did. And you said you didn't. So..." she paused for a moment. "We are going in circles."
Raphael sighed again, and rubbed his hand down his face. He noticed the bottle on the table and took a long drink from it. "Shalee, don't sit in anyone's laps anymore. Only children and lovers sit there."
"Alright."
Raphael let out a single, quiet laugh. He shook his head slowly again.
"What? I said I wouldn't."
"You're a mystery, Shalee. I don't think I'll ever figure you out."
Shalee grinned a bit lopsided, a little drunk. "What? Whats so mysterious about me?"
"You're perhaps love's biggest proponent, yet you know nothing of its physical side."
Shalee flushed with embarrassment. "Look. It's not like I don't want to know. It's just...complicated."
Raphael laughed to himself. "No, the physical aspect is the easy part. Instinct."
"Yeah, maybe. But..." She absently picked at the label on her beer bottle. "Zenton ...he doesn't.."
Raphael cocked his head to the side. "Doesn't what? Have the equipment?" He laughed at his own joke, releasing his reservations as he tended to the whiskey bottle.
She stuck her tongue out at him. "I wouldn't know about his equipment. He just doesn't ever well...make a move. I don't know what he is waiting for."
Raphael thought for a moment. "Maybe he doesn't love you as he claims."
"You think the two are connected? Can there be love without sex? And, can there be sex without love?"
"There can certainly be sex without love. But I do not see the reason of having love without sex."
Shalee blew out a frustrated breath, ruffling a strand of hair out of her face. "Oh well. I don't know."
"But, I guess if you don't have any need, then it's no problem."
Shalee rolled her eyes in response. "I would like to, very much so. I just think that maybe.."
Raphael raised his eyebrows, looking for more. "Yes...?"
"That maybe he isn't interested. Or doesn't find me attractive in that way. I don't know."
"Doesn't find you attractive? Ha, maybe he's gay. Perhaps that's why you share such a powerful bond. You're girlfriends."
"Raphael. "That's mean.
Raphael waved his hand a bit dismissively. "You'll have to excuse me. I am not his greatest fan."
"Why?"
"You know his history as well as I, perhaps more so. His 'slip' is nothing I find respectable, and the more I learn about him, the more I dislike."
"Ah. Yeah okay. Fair enough."
"That is only another aspect of your mystery, Shalee. What you see in him." He raised his hand. "But please, no explanation. Let's keep this a happy affair."
Shalee nodded. "As you wish." She pours another drink.
"Careful there, I tend to notice you don't hold that so well, and you have a tendency to get 'friendly.' " A slight smile spread across his lips, thinking the danger avoided.
She smiled quickly in return "Then why do you invite me out for drinks hmmm?" She downed it quickly and slammed the glass onto the table. "Maybe you like me 'friendly'."
Raphael, despite what he wanted to maintain, smiled. Too much whiskey. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Shalee grinned. "Warn me against what?" She swayed her hand a bit. "Anyhow I'm fineeee." She drew out the last word.
He laughed. "Yeah, seems that way. Just don't go overboard. I doubt you'd get busted in here, but I don't want to feel guilty."
She nodded. "I'm done."
"Good, I don't need you podding yourself later."
"I'm not that drunk."
"I just said I didn't want you to be."
"I know."
Raphael looked down at the near empty whiskey bottle. "So..." he started, trying to think of a way to kickstart the conversation. "You know, if you ever need any help, with anything, you can ask me."
Shalee nodded. "Thats nice of you..." She laughed, a giggly little sound. "Why are you being so nice."
He shrugged lightly in response. "I don't know, perhaps I'm trying to make amends for my past behaviour." He laughed, "we had quite the strange relationship."
"Mmmhmm but I blame you. You were mean, despite me being perfectly charming to you."
Raphael laughed. "I was. I'm quite a vicious man. A real animal. And you sure laid the charm on thick, huh?"
"Not very effectively, apparently."
"Well, you're a perfectly likeable girl, Shalee. I'm just a difficult man to get to know."
"I think I'm getting to know you well enough."
"You think? I'd be interested in your opinion of me."
"Oh, you're a complicated man really."
He grinned. "Good, I believe 'simple' is an insult."
She laughed. "I don't know, I don't think I have you figured out yet either."
Raphael kept his grin. "It's the unknown that's the fun part."
"Like having a secret."
"Yes, secrets are can be great fun."
"Tell me one."
Raphael took another drink. "A secret? About whom?"
"You, of course."
He looked a bit surprised. "About me?" He paused for a second. "I still fear death, even in my effective immortality." He gestured towards the armor he was wearing. "It makes me live for the day."
"Mmmm. After dying a few more times you'll lose that fear, I think."
"Well my immortality only applies while in-pod. Now be a dear and return the favor."
"A secret? You already know so many of mine."
He frowned slightly. "Well that's no fun."
"I can't think of anything...ask me whatever. I will be perfectly honest." She crossed her hands over heart ever dramatically.
Raphael raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Perfectly honest? So many questions I could ask." He grinned devilishly.
"Per-fect-ly."
Raphael turned solemn, a marked change in his demeanor. "There are tons, but I cannot bring myself to ask any of them."
"Why?"
He shook his head. "Because I don't want to change anything."
"I'm giving you free reign to ask me anything and you don't."
"Was there a question you wanted me to ask?"
Shalee laughed. "What do you think I want you to ask.."
"Let me try something. I'll give you the same offer. Let's see if it goes anywhere."
Shalee opened her mouth as if to say something, hesitated, then shook her head. "You're right."
Raphael chuckled. "Not so easy, huh? I don't know how many questions you may have had for me, but unless there's something pressing..." he paused for a second and looked down at the table, "...then you don't know what to ask."
"There are many things I could ask, but it will change things."
He nodded. "Should we chance it?"
"Can you?"
He laughed. "What, you don't want to ask? Want me to be the one at fault, huh?"
"Mmhmm." She leaned back in her chair and stretched languidly, feeling that euphoric devil-may-care attitude of someone intoxicated. "Go on. If you want to know something, ask."
He looked fully at her and leaned forward. "Well, my dear, I think it's been my fault for too long."
"That's not a question."
Raphael nodded. "Exactly my point. I think this time, it should be your fault."
"Negative. Anyhow, I don't even know what we are talking about anymore." She reached for the whiskey bottle and drank directly from it.
He watched her drink. "You a fan of whiskey?"
She set the bottle on the table. "Mmmhmm." She slid her chair back and stood, only slightly wobbling. "I should go." She laid a few isk on the table for a tip to the waiter who would clean up after them. "By the way. You're such a coward."
Raphael stood up. "Wait!" he shouted before walking over to her. "I'm no coward. I don't know what you want me to say, but dammit, I'll tell you what. Your little stunt in the Cathedral, it's been swimming around in my head ever since that night. You asked me if I wanted to kiss you...no, I didn't. Granted, some kissing my have happened if things kept going the way they were, but kissing would have been the most tame of what I would have done. I don't know what you did to me, but you be careful, lest I lose control. Too many things would go wrong if anything more than a mere friendship happens between us. I can't allow it, no matter what...desires...you may arise in me." The weight of the alcohol was upon him, like it was upon her, both of their inhibitions gone.
Shalee opened her mouth again as if to say something but words failed her. And then she got a smug little expression. "So you did want to kiss me, I knew it!" In her intoxicated state of mind it took a minute for the realization to sink in that he wanted to do more. Her eyes widened as her mouth forms an 'o' of shock. "Really?" She laughed, a low sultry laugh in the back of her throat "So I am desirable..."
Raphael growled at her. "Dammit, Shalee, all of this could have been avoided if you hadn't drank so much. Look at you now, laughing at me. I knew I was right."
"Laughing at you?" she said in a high pitched tone. "No, I was laughing at...Zenton? The way he makes me feel...and then here you are saying you would sleep with me."
Raphael walked towards Shalee, backing her against a wall. He placed his hand on the wall nearest the door, blocking her exit. "How does he make you feel? ...How does what I said make you feel?"
Shalee was flush against the wall as she lifted her gaze, staring at him, feeling a bit breathless from him being so intimately close. "He makes me feel...undesirable." She wet her lips nervously "And you ...make me feel....warm and..." She was at a loss for words.
He stuck his face a bit closer to hers. "I told you he was no good, Shalee." He looked her up and down before looking back into her eyes. "He's a fool."
Shalee dropped her gaze, her face flushed. Heart racing. Every nerve tingled with anticipation, for what she did not know. "If you say so," she said in a mere whisper.
Raphael leaned his face in as close as possible. "But I'm not." He suddenly took a few steps back and lowered his arm.
Confusion swept across her face as he steps back. Blushing with embarassment, she looked to the exit, unable to look him in the eye "No, you are not." She took a step towards the door "I should go."
Raphael carefully watched Shalee move. "Good luck on your patrols. Try to sober up a bit." He laughed to himself as he thought 'If I didn't do that for you already.' "But don't you dare call me a coward again, Shalee. You may not like the response," he growled.
"No? Maybe I would." she answered and exited before he could respond.
With the confirmation to both parties that there was an attraction starting to grow, the dynamic between them chaged. Each look between them had a subtle, uncertain tone. Because of the close friendship and confidence they had built up between them, they continued to meet for drinks, or simply to talk. Sometimes, the subject came up again between them, and each subsequent conversation was more and more charged, until an indecent proposal was finally made.
21st Day of the 8th Month, YC 111
Shalee looked at him as the two of them danced in the Pax Praetoria. "What are you offering.."
Raphaeled squeezed her a bit tighter. "A close friendship."
"And what about Zenton..."
"What about him? I'm not offering you love, Shalee. There is no need to choose between us."
Shalee felt her pulse quicken "No?" Her voice was higher pitched with nervousness. "Then you uh....just want..."
He dipped Shalee, holding her in it. "You said it yourself, Shalee, back in My Blue Heaven. 'Sex without love.' I'm offering a close friendship. True understanding."
Raphael sighed aloud. "I don't know what I was thinking. That wasn't me. I can't explain what was happening..., well maybe I could." He took another drink from the flask.
Shalee had obviously been intrigued by the proposal, though undoubtably had many mixed feelings on the subject, because she did not back away from him. They continued their duties, occaisionally meeting up. They grew closer until one day, they finally kissed. Once that physical barrier was broken, they took any opportunities to indulge in this simplest of acts. After parties, between patrols, and after she had come back from an innocent visit with her boyfriend Zenton.
The breaking of that barrier also allowed her to more seriously entertain his offer.
25th day of the 8th month, YC 111
Shalee looked at him as she sat in his lap, the two of them on a couch in the Pax Praetoria. "I want it to be special though."
Raphael looked at her questoningly. "'It?' You mean you intend to go all the way? You know it'll never be as special as it would be with Zenton, if the fool ever wakes up, don't you?"
"I'm not sure he loves me."
29th day of the 8th month, YC 111
The two of them stood in the Cathedral of St. Alms, having just had a long discussion about love, Zenton, and fallacy. "I'll fall in love with you if I sleep with you."
However, everything would come to a crashing halt when the Praetorian Chaplain, Michael Priboj,went on a secret mission for the Empire that requiered he fake his death. Shalee and Priboj had developed a rapport with each other, Shalee having come to him numerous times for counseling and support. Raphael had also come to him once for advice on love, and had shared his philosophy with him. Priboj contacted Shalee through hologram, and began to confide in her, unknown to Raphael. One fateful night in the Cathedral would drag him into the ordeal, and shatter the friendship he and Shalee had developed.
30th Day of the 8th Month, YC 111
Raphael Saint hesitated for a second, seeing what looks to be a serious conversation between the Shalee and the monk he had just been talking with in the main chamber of the Cathedral. However, the only way out was on the other side of the two. He began walking towards them, determined to not make eye contact.
Shalee nodded to the monk. "Of course. I just wish you were here already." She turned her head, having heard Saint's footsteps. She looked at him, wondering what he knows.
The monk turned to face Raphael and stepped away from Shalee at the same time.
"Ensign," Shalee said, addressing Raphael.
He slowed to a stop. The monk stepping away like that was too suspicious. He looked to Shalee as she talked to him. "Lieutenant."
The monk rippled slightly.
Shalee didn't know what to say, especially after the previous night. "Ensign," she merely repeats.
Raphael was sure he had seen the monk inexplicably ripple, but made no indication of it. "So....giving counsel to the Lieutenant, Acolyte?"
"Yes. She's proving to be an adept pupil of Father Priboj's brother."
"Oh? And just what was the problem, if you don't mind me asking?" Raphael inquired.
"Problem?" Shalee asked.
" That's.... umm... A good priest never breaks confidence," came the monk's reply.
Raphael narrowed his eyes. "It seems the Lieutenant is not even aware of a problem."
"Rule number one actually. It's what Michael taught me." Shalee offered.
"Right. That's exactly what Michael taught her." the monk confirmed.
"Oh? Are you an expert on what he has taught her?" Raphael asked, getting more suspicious of the two with each response.
Shalee tilted her head to the side and looked at Saint. "Its none of your business what he and I talk about unless you want to tell me what you and he were talking about first."
The monk chimed in. " Yes... A fair trade."
"How do you know I was even talking to him?" Raphael asked, fousing on Shalee.
"I overheard you when I came in."
The monk opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, repeating the process several times, looking like a fish.
Raphael frowned. "Sneaking about, are we? Is there a particular reason this congress was held in the entranceway of the Church?"
"I'm not sneaking about." She countered. "Anyhow I wanted to talk to him in private."
Raphael crossed his arms, unconvinced.
The monk crossed his arms as well and then rippled again.
Raphael looked over at the monk, quite certain of what he had seen now. "Enough of this charade. What is going on, Lieutenant?"
Shalee lifted her chin and assumed an arrogant expression, annoyed. "Don't presume to ask me what is going on, I don't answer to you."
Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Answer me, Shalee."
The hologram of the monk began to slowly back away from both of them.
Raphael pointed his hand at the holoimage. "Don't you move! And don't you dare deactivate! You're not going to want to leave her alone with me." Raphael shouted at the hologram, anger on his face, and hoping to keep it from disappearing.
The hologram smiled. "Do you really think that you can harm either of us? As we're both holo-images?"
"Ensign! I suggest you watch your temper," Shalee shouted.
"You seem to have figured all of this out. So tell me.... what do you think is going on Ensign Raphael Saint of PIE Inc," the hologram challenged him.
Raphael yelled back at Shalee. "Quiet! I won't brook any insolance here, regardless of your rank." He lookd to the holoimage. "I am quite certain she is here, holo..." he trailed off as the holo addressed him by his name and rank.
"Well? You seem to have it all figured out. Do tell," the hologram urged as it took a step towards him.
"You...you're not going to wrap me into this either. I don't care what faction you are from, but this meeting is not going to end well." he looked to Shalee. "Have you been feeding him information on all of us? Who're you spying for!?"
Shalee took a step back, putting distance between her and Raphael. "Spying?"
"You don't scare me, Holo. Approach as much as you like," he said before turning to Shalee. "So, this is why you have been out of sorts. And it certainly explains a lot. Goddamn you, Shalee."
The holomonk laughed. It's sound filled the small cramped space of the entrace quickly and echoed throughout the church. "Ensign.... you really do have a lot to learn."
Raphael looked to the holo. "You will stop addressing me unless I address you first. No more games."
Shalee flushed with anger. "No goddamn YOU Raphael, how dare you speak to me in such a tone, and who are you to suggest such a thing. Do you not trust me at all?"
"No... more... games? Ensign, you're about to get into a whole heap of a mess," the hologram warned.
Raphael yelled at Shalee. "You! You're the one, getting friendly with everyone, asking them personal questions. I thought you were just friendly, but now I see. And Zenton, your precious boyfriend...well, we got him out of PIE, but he still spies on the militia. Now I know why I saw Koronakesh at that decrepit Arbitrator. It's all falling into place."
The hologram sighed. "Shalee.... I'm going to have to do it. And he'll wish he'd have learned self control over on that pew over there."
Raphael reached for his pistol only to find he wasn't carrying it. He pretended he had it anyways, keeping his hand at his hip over a non-existant holster, hoping they'd but it. "Don't try it!"
"Ensign Raphael Saint of PIE Inc," the hologram started. "What I'm about to tell you is classified by her Imperial Majesty Jamyl Sarum herself, and is pursuant to PIE Executive General Order 17 which states, ' Any information given to a member of the Empire by the Imperial Household may not be in turn dispensed to any member of PIE in any form of tribunal, inquiry, hearing, or conversation. In other words, You tell anyone what you're about to hear... and you will die a painful death. Period."
Shalee paled as she watches him reach for the gun she knew he carried. "You would kill me? How could you...oh god how could do this. You've got it wrong, all wrong."
Raphael looked to the holo as he talked, barely registering Shalee's voice.
"Do you understand waht I've just said?" the hologram finished.
Raphael frowned, not comprehending. "You...you can't be with Amarr. Why all the secrecy here? Why not in a more secure place?"
"Do... You... Understand... Ensign?"
Raphael nodded. "Hit me."
Shalee was silent while the monk spoke though she trembled from fear. Despite outranking Raphael, despite thinking she knew him, she realized she didn't know him at all.
The hologram reached forward and touched a console outside the view of the holo-projectors at his end of the line. His holo-image reformed into the face and body of Michael Priboj of PIE inc. His face bore streaks of grime and grit, fresh wounds on his torso and arms. His metal right arm had been dented and hung nearly lifelessly at his side. He was dressed in Amarrian Stealth Commando Combat attire, obviously having been worn for weeks without washing or changing. On his hip hung a rather advanced amarrian laser pistol, but it's power cell was long empty.
"Oh Michael..." Shalee let out.
"I told shalee and this.... organization decided to rough her up a bit. It might be prudent for you to keep your mouth shut as well Raphael.
That was the beginning of the ordeal with the shadowy imperial agency that had employed Priboj and hunted Shalee after she found out, and begn to hunt Raphael once he knew as well. However, the accusation of spying destroyed the budding romance between Raphael and Shalee, and all but eliminated their friendship. They could not, however, just walk away from it.
"And as for you, Ensign Saint. You're going to keep your mouth shut, and you're going to stay with Shalee every moment of every day until I get back," Priboj ordered after he had confirmed his identity and explained everything to Raphael. "That way, you're both protected. Play it off as though you're dating or something. But both of you now know, so you're both in danger."
Raphael looked over at Shalee and frowned heavily, the bond between them shattered. "I hope that's not an order, Commander."
"What?! No," Shalee protested.
"Listen you two," Priboj explained. "I'd happily camp either one of your quarters to insure your safety. I expect the two of you to figure out some way to keep each other safe as well." Before leaving, he gave one final instruction. "And Raphael... if you so much as lay a finger on her that isn't got a medical device in the other hand, I'll personally tear them off of you one by one when I get back."
"Of course, I apologized to her for the misunderstanding," Raphael says, screwing the lid back onto the flask. "It took her a while to get over it, though, but I don't blame her." He looks up. "However, the very next day she was breaking up with Zenton."
The friendship struggled for a little while longer, but eventually grew back as they pretended to be dating. A brush with death against an assassin and Raphael's willingness to help Shalee hide the body of yet another quickly solidified their close survival relationship. Finally, everything came to a head.
5th day of the 9th month, YC 111
Shalee Lianne wandered over to a counter where there was a music playing drone. The two of them were in an old Arbitrator hull that had parts of it reworked into a 'club house' of sorts. She activated the drone, then stepped over to him. "You should dance with me."
Raphael looked at her for a second, wondering what she was up to. After a moment, he extended his hand. He regarded her with a curious look before he put his hands on her waist. He begins to sway the two of them to the music, while slowlying cicling the center of the room.
Shalee just wanted to enjoy the moment with him. She leaned her head against his shoulder, her fingers curled into his hair, and her thoughts drifted. Eventually she couldn't take it any longer. "Tell me about her..."
Raphael frowned slightly. The last 'her' the two of them had spoken about was his ex, who still worked in his mining company. "Michaela?"
"Yes."
He looked off into space. "Well, she's a childhood friend. The sister of my best and oldest friend. I can't remember when she first took an interest me romantically, but I know I didn't return her feelings for a long time."
"So what happened. What made you ....sleep with her..?"
Raphael frowned slightly at the prospect of discussing it. "Well, she came onto me once, and had perfect timing. I couldn't help myself that first night, and I paid for it later."
Shalee nodded. "Will you send her away?"
"How do you mean?"
She grazed her mouth against the side of his neck, licking a path to his ear. "I want you to send her away, I don't care to where, I just don't want her there."
Raphael was taken aback by her actions. "Wait...what would be your problem with her, unless..."
Shalee kissed along his jawline "Unless?" She dragged the tip of her tongue along his chin, working her way to his mouth.
Raphael froze. "I...I had no idea you still felt this way. I didn't even hope to entertain any thoughts of such after my beastly behavior...but..." He looked down at her and pulled her closer "...I am glad to have this second chance."
She whispered against his mouth "No? Not even a little bit? It never crossed your mind I'd still desire you?" She pushed against him, leading him to the sofa.
After that, they no longer needed to pretend. The intimate relationship they had been telling everyone they had was now real, and no place was safe from them. For a short time, at least.
"A little over a month later, I almost ruined everything." Raphael says quietly. "I told her why I had been so attracted to her, why I made all those moves. It was because of Nephanie. I told her that she had reminded me of Nephanee, and that she was my second chance." He looks down at the floor, quiet for a long moment. "I remember finding a letter weeks later that she had written but not sent. It was addressed to me and laid out how she planned on getting herself podded without a proper back up, to erase the memory. She loved me and wanted to stay, but couldn't live with the memory."
Raphael takes a long drink from his flask before he speaks again. "But luckily I had caught her before she had done anything. Two days later I showed her that I honestly and truely loved her too."
16th day of the 9th month, YC 111
Raphael Saint stood before the main altar in the Cathedral of St. Alams, staring up at the stainedglass windows behind it. The setting sun illuminated them brilliantly, casting multicolored lights across the inner sanctum.
Shalee dashed down the aisle after bursting through the door. She moved towards the alter quickly and without giving him time to say anything, she threw her arms around him. "I love you I love you I love you."
He looked down at her, smiling warmly. "I see you got my message."
Shalee buried her face against his chest, inhaling his scent, holding onto him tightly, desperately. "It's been horrible without you. I don't care anymore about Nephanie, she was your past, I am yours now."
Raphael wrapped his arms around her. "I'm hoping it won't only be now."
"I will love you forever." She had been distraught without him, and it made her realize that she could forgive him of anything. She tipped her chin up to look at him, her mouth pressed against his chin.
Raphael took his arms from around her and cupped her face, bringing his mouth down to hers. He kissed her gently, intimately.
She kissed him until she was breathless then pulled away, her eyes wide as she stares into his. "There was a ring...." She hesitated for half a second, hoping she hadn't jumped to the wrong conclusions, thought that she probably did, but she had to ask.
Raphael smiled at her. "May I see it?" He extendsed his hand.
She had been holding the ring the whole time. She unclenched her fist and dropped the ring into his hand.
He smiled at her before looking down at the ring. He took a step back from her and speaks, his voice soft, gentle. "I offer us a chance to start anew. To see each other in a new light. To experience, for a first time, our life together as sacred partners, eternal lovers.." He got down onto one knee and looked up at her, holding the ring in both hands. "...as husband, and wife."
Shalee stared at him for the longest of moments, in shock. So he was asking her to marry him. "You mean it? You want me...forever?"
He smiled up at her. "If you don't mind, I'd like a little bit longer."
Shalee stretched her hand out so that he could slide the ring onto her finger. "I've missed you so much, these past days have been unbearable without you." Was this how he proposed to Nephanie? The thought flashed through her mind and she quickly shoved it away, trying not to let thoughts of her marr the day he asks this, of all things.
Rapahel smiled, incredibly happy she acceptanced. He slid the ring on her finger and then stood and put his arms around her waist. "I was so afraid I'd lost you."
Shalee held her hand out and admired the ring, then wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You almost did..." She admits in a soft voice, then impulsively smiled. "But lets not talk about that now. I don't ever want to think about it again."
Raphael was still smiling, but he winced inwardly at her comment. He had hurt her so dearly that he had almost lost her.
Shalee rested her forehead against his and rubbed her nose against his. "I'm glad you chose this place to propose."
"This is our place."
She smiled just before she brushed her lips against his, barely kissing him. "And you are mine."
Raphael laughed. A bitter, sarcastic laugh. "How foolish we capsuleers are. We've forever, yet rush to make such important decisions."
The two of them were only able to enjoy the engagement for a month before Raphael was called away on a personal mission. Gone for four weeks while looking for his mother who had disappeared. His efforts turned futile when after a month of searching the trail went cold, and she was nowhere to be found. Once he had no more leads, he went back home, returning to his fiancée.
16th day of the 12th month, YC 111
Raphael Saint slowly crawled ontop of the bed and over the sleeping figure of Shalee Lianne until his face was above hers, but masked by shadow. The matress moved and creaks slightly at his efforts. He had found her in a mountain cabin.
Shalee slowly roused from sleep though she thought she was dreaming. She could feel the weight of him and hear his breathing. "Im dreaming..." she whispered to herself, afraid to move because she didn't want the dream to disappear. "Raphael," she spoke his name with love and desperation.
Raphael raised a hand up to cup her cheek, most of him still cloaked in blackness. "Shalee..." he whispered in response, his voice containing a slight rasp.
She flutterd her lashes several times, blinking, trying to force herself awake then realized he would disappear if she did. So she closed her eyes again and sighed with contentment, relishing the feel of his hand against her cheek. Even if it was a dream. "I've missed you," she whispered in a soft sweet voice.
He smiled. "I missed you too." He leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her lips. "It's been so long..."
Shalee moaned against his mouth, the touch of his lips against hers sent shivers along her spine, anticipation coursed through her. It felt real. But how could that be? She was still lost between dreaming and reality. "Kiss me again," she asked as she rolled over beneath him, now on her back, her body pressed intimately to his. Her lashes fluttered again as she tries to wake up.
Raphael obliged and kissed her again, this time holding the kiss. He supported himself on hi elbows and brought his other hand up to cup the other side of her face, gently holding her head in place. He could feel the familiar warmth of her body beneath him and it comforted him, a contrast to the coldness that encompassed him while he was away. He spread his knees out a bit to lower himself further down on top of her, to feel more of her warmth, to find the comfort he only felt when with her.
Shalee whimpered as he settled onto her, so very close now, so warm, so familiar. She lifted her hands and grazed them along his sides, her fingers spread across the fabric of his shirt. Her eyes blinked open as he pulled his head away to breathe and she stared at him. "Raphael?" She was beginning to realize he was there. "Are you real?" Her fingers tighten as if to hold him to her, afraid that he may try to leave her again. "Oh god, you're here! You're really here." Tears slid from the corners of her eyes.
Raphael moved a hand to wipe away some of the tears. "I told you I'd come back." He planted another kiss on her forehead. "You didn't think I wouldn't come back, did you?" He usually hated to see her cry, but knowing that these were tears of happiness, he felt a certain solace. He had missed her, and he loved that she had clearly missed him as well.
Shalee slid her hands upwards, now wrapping them around his shoulders. "You're back you're back you're back...oh god." She held him to her, hugging him tightly. "I've missed you so much I can't even begin to tell you." She started to kiss randomly across his face, his nose, his cheeks, forehead, and lips again.
Raphael smiled again as she covered his face in kisses. "I've missed you too. Couldn't dare look at any woman without my thoughts drifting back to you." He lowered himself fully onto her, making sure to support just enough of himself for her to breath comfortably. His hands wrapped around her back, he hugs her to him.
Shalee wrinkled up her nose, "There were other women?" Jealousy washed through her, flushing her cheeks with anger. "Who? Anyone I know?" He had been gone for a month, she couldn't bare the thought of him spending time with other women!
Raphael backed off suddenly. "Whoa! Just women in the market places, in the stations, and some of the crew!"
"Oh. Alright then...I am sorry. I just..." she said before falling silent.
RaphaelSaint sat up, his face going back into the shadows. He looked down at her, concerned. "You think I would fool around on you?" His voice was soft, but firm.
Shalee shook her head slightly, "No! No. I don't." She lifted her hand and cupped her fingers against the back of his neck pulling him to her again. Her mouth grazed across his, whispering across the softness of his lips, "I just got jeaous of anyone who had your time while you were gone. Please forgive me. Don't fight with me. Not now. I need you."
Raphael sat there in hesitation, not responding to her motions. Was there a trust issue? Did she not trust him? Had he ever been like this towards her?
Shalee sensed his hesitation and dies a little inside, "Don't." She wrapped her arms tighter around him, hugging him to her, as if she could force away any negative feelings or thoughts he might have. "Please Raphael, don't doubt me."
RaphaelSaint brought his hands up to tightly embrace her, but he wore a frown on his face. Remembering that letter she had written to him so long ago, about how she would rather die than know the truth, he wondered if there was any connection. Did she still feel that way? Will she always doubt his fidelity to her? Would there always be such jealousy at the mention of any other woman he might have contact with? Did he have any similar doubts towards her? Would they make it?
Shalee cuddled up against him, thinking that he was okay. That they were okay. She kissed any part of him that she could, her mouth brushed across his cheek, jaw, side of his neck. She whisperd against his ear, "Love you so much." And then she smiled, feeling utterly blissful. He was home. Well, not *home*, but with her. That's all that mattered to her now.
Raphael sat in silence, trying not to dwell on the thoughts. He held her tight, not wanting to lose her. He had just returned from a month-long trip, but suddenly felt like he had never been farther away from her. "I love you too. I just want to be with you; to eat with you, live with you, fly with you."
"Did you find her?"
Raphael frowned in imcomprehension for a second before realizing what she was talking about. He pulled back but keeps his hands on her shoulders. "Oh...no, I did not. I didn't find anything. The trail went cold."
Shalee sighed softly, "Im sorry. I know what it meant to you to find her." She assumed that the issue was over and done with and that he is back for good.
Raphael sighed as well, but inaudibly. "It's alright." He thought he was back for good as well.
Shalee was silent for a moment. "So what are we going to do? About PIE I mean."
Raphael frowned in incomprehension. "What do you mean?"
Shalee furrowed her brows as she looked at him, "You don't know?" Anger flushed her cheeks again as she thought about her conversation with Mitara. "They have resigned your commission. You're no longer in PIE. I just found out myself....last night. It's why I am here of all places. I just needed to get away."
Raphael was silent for a few minutes. He looked down at the PIE uniform he was wearing, able to only make out a few details in the dark. "They....kicked me out?"
Shalee nodded, "We will have to get it sorted out. I figure it is a mistake. It has to be." She looked sheepish, "But when I found out, I was livid. I tore off my Lt bars in front of Mitara. So...I mean. At the moment. Unless you go back, I wont."
"What...what did they kick me out for? I thought our relationship was okay..."
"Inactivity."
Raphael furrowed his brow. "Surely that can't be it....I was only gone for four weeks....what about those who have been gone longer but still remained?"
"That is why I think it is a mistake. I know that they have been going through the roster recently and decommissioning a lot of people."
Raphael looked down at the bed. "No longer in PIE, no longer in the militia, no longer serving the Empire..."
"It can be sorted out."
"...no longer cleansing my sins..."
"Raphael. It can be sorted. I was angry about it last night, I wasn't thinking clearly. But today I've realized that it *has* to be a mistake, theres simply no other explination for it. Reapply. Send Archbishop a letter even."
Raphael looked up at Shalee. He'd have to think about it. He kicked his legs out over the side of the bed and stood up. Changing the subject, he asked her "So how are you doing?"
"I'm happy now that you are here. Until now...I've just been a little...misplaced. It's been difficult without you."
"Misplaced? Where have you been?"
Shalee furrowed her brows. "I hadn't really meant it literally though I suppose I have been." She slid to the edge of the bed and dropped her feet to the floor, facing the open window. Her hair caught on the slight breeze coming through the open window. "I don't like staying alone...I've just been staying here and there."
"Here and there? What does that mean? Have you been moving around a lot?"
"Yes, of course. We are in war, Raphael. We've been overworked. I'm lucky to have had *any* sleep while you've been gone."
Raphael smiled warmly at her. "I've heard about the successes on the war front, thanks in no small part to your contributions, I'm sure. I hope you at least found some comfort while I was gone."
"I stayed at Zenton's some."
"Zenton's" Raphael says disgustedly. "While I was gone and she was getting jealous about any woman I came within 100 yards of, she was sleeping over at her ex-boyfriend's place." He takes a long drink from the flask, brining it to just less than half full. "The Praetoria and Shalee were all I had back then, and what do I find upon my return? The Praetoria had stripped me of my commission, and Shalee had been spending quality time with her ex."
Raphael, unaware that nothing actually happened between her and Zenton, walked out the cabin that night and took time to think over everything that he had been told. After a week of working with the Sisters of Eve up in Arnon, he returned to the Empire, running into his fiancée again. The two were able to mend the misunderstandings and pains, and at Shalee's request Raphael rejoined PIE. The two enjoyed each other's company for another couple of weeks before they would be split apart again.
Having seen nothing from Priboj for some time, and with Raphael's recent experience in tracking people, Shalee asked him to go looking for Priboj.
"I was hesitant to go, of course, seeing as how things were when I got back from my last 'outing,' " Raphael says. "But, she wanted me to find him, find something, so I did." His face goes hard. "I shouldn't have, though."
During Raphael's absence, the agency that had been harassing the two of them began to forcibly employ Shalee. When the enemy general Eran Mintor contacted her, they instructed her that she would keep up contact with him under threat that they would kill Raphael, Michael Priboj, and Micah, an agent who had been helping her. Then, they made Raphael watch. Made him watch, helpless, as his fiancée met with, talked to, and fell for the General.
Raphael returned to a world much changed. The Praetoria was again reviewing him for explusion based on 'inactivity.' His fiancée, Shalee, no longer served within the Praetoria. She now helped Aldrith as his lieutenant within his new corporation, The Knighthood of the Merciful Crown. Upon his return, Raphael found his fiancée unable to make too much time for him, despite not having seen him in over a month.
29th day of the 3rd month, YC 112
Raphael Saint was sleeping in a chair in Shalee's Arzad apartment when we was awoken by the sounds of her entering. "I told you it'd be over a week before I'd see you again."
Shalee Lianne entered into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, "War, and all." She laid her hands in her lap demurely.
"Still, I told you, and you didn't believe me. So naive, yet so uncaring." He stood up and walked across the room, taking up a position that still let him look at her. "So you found a break then, I take it?"
Shalee nodded. "For a little while, yes."
Raphael regarded her for a second before tossing the issue aside. "So, you still want to start over?"
Shalee sat there for a few moments, seemingly lost in thought. She slid the ring off and laid it on the bed beside her. "I can't commit to you right now."
Raphael was silent for a long while. "Is there....someone else?"
"I'm different now. You were gone a long time and my focus is the war now. I don't have time to be with anyone right now."
Raphael frowned, saddened. "I hope that's true."
Shalee stared at the floor. "Im sorry but this is too hard. My obligations to the corp and to the militia take so much of me now....I just dont want the stress of worrying about you here, waiting for me."
Raphael nodded. "Cut the ties, burn the bridge, and no one can follow."
"It's for the best."
Raphael took a look at a ship key in his hand, a gift he had planned on giving her, before placing it ruefully into his pocket. He looked back up at her. "Somehow, my version of 'best' never excluded you."
Shalee remained silent, staring at the floor.
Raphael brought his hand up to display his ring and looked at it. "I think I'll keep mine, to remind me to never fall in love again." He laughed weakly. "Funny how level your voice can remain when you're utterly broken." He took a deep breath and headed towards the doorway.
Despite her claim to not have time to see anyone, the two of them shared a few intimate moments over the next few weeks while Shalee was meeting with and falling for the Minmatar general Eran Mintor. While Raphael knew why Shalee had interacted with Eran Mintor, but he could not understand why she stayed with him. Her orders from the Agency had been to merely distract him, not fall for him, sleep with him, and propose to him. Unable to just walk away, Raphael continued to pursue her and asked that she stop seeing him.
12th day of the 4th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint laughed lightly. The two had just woken up together and were chatting about things to do that day. "Well, before you go, I wanted to talk." He paused for a moment. "...about us."
Shalee Lianne spoke in a muffled voice, a pillow over her head as she tried to avoid having to wake up. "Do we have to?"
Raphael frowned lightly at the comment. "I..." He was too confused to articulate, not expecting such.
Shalee pulled the pillow off of her head and looked at him through half-lidded eyes. "I don't want to talk. I just want to be. I don't want rules and expectations and any of that. If you're going to see me you're going to do it on those terms."
Raphael frowned, hurt. "I just wanted to say that if we can't be together now, that I'd wait for you." He looked away from her. "But I can see that you don't want an 'us.' I can see...." His frustration and hurt almost choke him with this sudden change from last night. "I can see that I'm a little more than casual encounter."
"No I'm not making any promises and I don't want you to expect anything from me. At all. But I will be with you when I can. Those are my terms, take it or leave it, Shalee responded.
Raphael looked over his shoulder at her as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You're not just sex, Shalee. I love you. What you're outlining..."
Shalee climbed out of the bed, pulling the sheet around her. "Take it or leave it Raphael."
Raphael stood up and turned to face her. "Goddammit, Shalee. I love you! I love you to death! You don't know the things I've done in your name, the things I've done for you! I'd follow you to hell! I would have became a goddamn blooder if I had to! And now you're asking me to become a goddamn courtesan, to wait for your call so you can use me for sex!" He spat to the side in disgust.
Shalee lifted her chin definately, "Then don't. Walk away."
"Of course, after she broke my heart and returned the ring I gave her, she asked that we be friends while she pursued Mintor." He takes another drink from the flask, adding sarcastically, "I'm surprised she didn't ask for a blessing."
When Shalee got tired of Raphael asking to explain things to him and he got tired of only hearing 'things have changed,' the two broke off contact. Contact would resume
a short while later, however, when problems arose between her and Eran. After Eran's betrayal of her by remote repairing ships in an enemy fleet that was actively engaging her own, the two began to talk again.
8th day of the 7th month, YC 112
Shalee Lianne caught glance of the PIE uniform of the man who walked past her as she was heading towards the hangars in Huola and turned her head, seeing Raphael. "Hey you."
Raphael Sant took a few more steps, almost not turning around. "Yes?", he asked, a hint of exhaustion in his voice.
Shalee noticed the exhaustion, "...where you going?"
"What's it to you?" he replied monotonously.
Shalee shrugged. "Just asking." She also wore a look of exhaustion.
Raphael offered a short smile of indifference before he turned back around to continue on his way.
"Why are you walking away?" she called out with a hint of annoyance.
Raphael turned back around, but continued on his way slowly, walking backwards as he called back. "Because I guess we have nothing to talk about." He offers a small shrug.
"So...I was going out to do some work for Concord. Want to tag along?"
"Concord, really? After what they did to me?" Raphael asked, referring to the grounding they had given him for months.
Shalee shruged. "Im not saying they are perfect or anything. I need the standings."
Raphael frowned lightly. "For what?"
Shalee shrugged. "Took a hit yesterday in an unfortunate incident. And I'm not trying to be seen as a pirate. So yeah."
Raphael's frown grew a bit. "Then stop shooting neutrals."
"Everything is not black and white."
"Yeah, like you need to tell me that."
"So? Will you help me or not?"
"Why should I?"
"Because we are on the same side still."
"Are we? I don't find myself needing to raise my security status with Concord. I don't see myself cavorting with the enemy. I don't see myself making friends with pirates. Just what "side" are you claiming we share?"
Shalee rolled her eyes. "You always could be an asshole. I'm trying, you know. I'm trying to fix my status. I'm trying to fix things with you."
Raphael got a look of disbelief on his face. " 'Fix' things with me? By offering me your friendship after offering yourself to another man? I'm glad that after tossing me aside you want to keep me close by, Shalee. I really am."
"So thats it? You're just completely out of my life? We can't even be friends or fly together? You wont even try?"
Raphael could hardly conjure up words. "H-how...how could you even think that after what you did to me that we'd be the best of friends? I-I just can't even comprehend.... You had my company, Shalee. You were about to have it forever. You didn't want it."
"I do want it.."
Raphael just shook his head, laughing slightly.
Shalee sighe softly. "Look...I don't know how to make things better. But I'm trying."
Raphael started walking back towards Shalee, reaching her by the end of his line. "I think you can agree that there was a lot of passion between the two of us, Shalee. Passion can only go two ways." He stood in front of her, looking down at her, a serious look on his face. "Kiss me."
Shalee widened her eyes, caught off guard by his request, "...what?"
Raphael cradled her cheek in his hand as he brought his face slightly closer to hers. "Kiss me," he repeated, softly.
Shalee leaned forward as if to prove a point and very, very quickly, she brushed her lips across his then pulled her head back. "There, happy?"
Raphael smiled slightly. "No, no, kiss me for real, and I'll fly with you."
"Why?"
Raphael looked into her eyes. "Because passion is our curse, Shalee, and it can either burn us to the ground," he stepped forward, pressing his body against hers as he leaned his head over and whispered into her ear, "or it can warm us to the very core."
Shalee shook her head no. "Raphael, no." She attempted to place her hands against his chest and push him away, "This is wrong, okay? I'm not doing this."
Raphael clamped his arms around her to hold her in place. "All I want is a kiss, Shalee. Show me you still want my company..."
Shalee stood still as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're going too far and you know it, Raphael. This isn't fair..."
Raphael smiled at her. " 'Fair?' " He chuckles lightly. How dare you talk about 'fair.' "All you have to do is kiss me, Shalee, and then we both go out there, and get us some pirates."
"You'll tell Eran."
Raphael cocked his head to the side. "And what good would that do me?"
Shalee tipped her chin up, "Fine." She leaned her mouth closer to his and brushed her lips against his, kissing him.
This encounter set off a series of small visits and meetings that continually pushed them back and forth in terms of making any progress towards mending the animosity between them. A lot of the same discussions came up between them, which both of them were tired of rehashing. After Raphael left PIE on the 10th, things would take a slight turn, however.
19th day of the 7th month, YC 112
The day after the wedding of Aldrith Shutaq and Mitara Newelle, a chance encounter in the warzone led to Shalee Lianne and Raphael Saint meeting up for a drink. After a discussion of the wedding and how neither of them enjoyed it very much for their own reasons, they got into a drinking game. Shot led to shot until both were reasonably drunk, challenges being issued as they pressed the buttons they knew the other had. Eventually, things got out of hand.
"You want it, I want it, there's no reason not to," Raphael said to her.
"And then what?" Shalee asked. "What happenes afterwards?"
Raphael frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I can't do this....let me up."
"Can't...or won't?"
"It doesnt matter."
Raphael looked her in the eyes. "Tell me."
Shalee pushed at him. "I don't have to tell you. Just let me up! I shouldnt be here like this."
Raphael pushed himself against her. "Shalee. Please." The last word came out with a slight desperate tone to it.
"You think I don't want you to fuck me right now? But I can't. I can't do it and look him in the eye tomorrow."
Raphael frowned at her. "Then free yourself and never have to look at him again."
"Raphael... Don't. Just let me go."
Raphael's face contorted to one of hurt. Emotions flowed in his drunken state. "You made me love you, and then you just tossed me aside! What has he done that I never did? What wrong did I commit that he has yet? Why can't you tell me what you really feel?!?"
Shalee softened her expression. "I have to go. And you should too." She dragged her hand along his back as memories flashed through her mind. "Not like this. Not in a bar."
Raphael backed off a bit, her words soothing him. Pliable, he got up slowly, his head spinning a bit from the rush of adrenaline interacting with the alcohol. "Yeah..."
Shalee slid out of the booth as soon as he moved. "I have to go..." She leaned against the table, half sitting on it.
Raphael looked at her, his head hurting a little. "When will I get to see you again...?"
Shalee reached a hand out to him, curling it into the fabric of his shirt. She pulled him closer and leaned her forehead against his chest. "When do you want to see me?" she asked in a small voice.
Raphael brought his hands up to her arms, rubbing them gently. "All the time."
"You'd have to actually join the corp to do that."
"Then I'll do that," he responded without hesitation.
Shalee lifted her head, looking at him curiously. "What?"
Raphael looked down at her. "I'll join, if that's what it takes. I'll do anything."
Shalee shook her head. "I don't know....I didn't mean it like that. I don't know how you took it I just....meant that I fly a lot and that if anyone wants to see me that have to fly with me."
Raphael slid his hands up her arms, across her shoulders, and up to cup her face. He looked at her warmly. "I love you, Shalee. I want to be with you all the time. Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do. I want to be there for you."
Shalee stared at him and nodded. "I dont want to hurt you, Raphael."
"You're worth all the pain in the world, Shalee. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
"Lets talk about this later."
"Promise we'll talk?"
Shalee nodded.
"Then let's seal that promise with a kiss," Raphael said, still cupping her face, as he leaned forward to plant his lips on hers.
Shalee closed her eyes as his mouth covers her.
Raphael kissed her passionately, as if trying to prove himself. He broke it after a few long seconds. "I never tire of that."
Shalee leaned into him as he kissed her and once he brokethe kiss, dropped her head again, "I promise we will talk."
Raphael nodded, his smile faltering a bit as he sees her behavior. He ran a hand through her hair again, trying to comfort her.
Shalee leaned against him and nodded again, "I promise," she repeated.
Only a week later Raphael was wearing the colors of the Knighthood of the Merciful Crown. Both of them being in the same corporation led to more random encounters between the two. A general friendly atmosphere developed.
30th day of the 7th month, YC 112
"What's wrong?" Shalee Lianne asked. The two of them were in the Keep's library, having just discussed Shalee's reading materal.
"Nothing," Raphael Saint replied flatly.
"Uh huh....I don't believe you."
"Don't worry about it, Shalee. It's just a bit lonlier here than I expected."
Shalee frowned. "Oh...sorry."
Raphael turned his head to half-look at her. "For what?"
"For everything."
Raphael turned his head to look at her fully. "What do you mean?"
"Just that you're unhappy and i'ts my fault...and I'm sorry."
Raphael looked at her confusedly. "Shalee...."
"Yes?"
"...are you sure you're alright?"
"Are you?"
Raphael frowned in confusion, not understanding the turnabout of the question. "I...uh..." he muttered, unable to speak coherently for the moment.
Shalee looked at him with a sad expression. "You're not. And it's my fault...and I am sorry."
"Why're you..." Raphael couldn't understand where this came from; Why she suddenly felt the need to apologize.
"I never wanted to hurt you."
Raphael shook his head lightly. "I know you didn't want too...."
Shalee tilted her head, leaning it against his shoulder.
Raphael was baffled by the sudden change in behavior but grabed her hand, holding it in his. He looked at her a bit worriedly, but deep inside grew the urge to just grab and hold her.
Shalee curled her fingers around his.
Raphael leaned into her a little, trying to get more comfortable, but said nothing in order to preserve the atmosphere. His grip tightened, squeezing her hand gently, his eyes closed for a moment to boost his sense of feel.
Shalee stared off into the library, her back a bit chilled from leaning against the window.
Raphael looked down at her before leaning his head on the top of hers and whispered to her. "Shalee, you know I love you with all my heart, that I'll always belong to you. You may have taken your ring off, but I never did."
"Don't."
Raphael brought his other hand up and placed it on top of hers, sandwiching it between his two hands. On his finger was the ring, fused to the flesh in recreation of the original podding by the Agency station during the mission she sent him on.
Shalee glanced down to his hand and noticed the ring.
Raphael continued to whisper to her gently. "It'll never come off."
Shalee sighed softly. She rubbed her thumb along the back of his hand. "Let us talk of something else."
Raphael frowned into the top of her head before he adjusted it to look in the same direction as she. He waited, hurt, for her to pick the next topic.
"...I was hoping you'd introduce the next topic."
"The only thing that holds my interest anymore is you."
Shalee was silent for a long while, just sitting there, holding his hand, her head against his shoulder. "I don't know what to talk about either."
Raphael stroked her hand with his top hand. "I miss you."
"You don't have to miss me I'm right here."
Raphael brought his head back up to look down at her. "I miss all the times we had together. The good, the bad....I miss you, all of you."
Shalee nodded. "I miss it too sometimes. The way we were," she confessed.
Raphael continued to squeeze and rub her hand. "I want it back. All of it," he said soflty.
"I can't. You know I can't. You shouldn't ask these things of me."
"There's nothing stopping you but your own unwillingness."
Shalee sighed.
"What is it that you want, Shalee?"
"I don't know what I want anymore."
"Then how can you say what you can and can't do?"
"You know why."
"What did he do to earn you, Shalee? Where did I fail? Was it the message in the sky? The complete and utter acceptance for what you once were, and loving you all the same? Was it the journey to the unknown at your request? Was it being the first man to love you? Was it the decision that I wanted to spend the rest of my life, eternity, with you?" Raphael asked, his tone even and voice gentle throughout.
"I don't have any answers Raphael...and it wasn't always like that. We had our bad times too. You know we did."
"Are you saying that your life with Eran is all good?"
"...no."
"Everyone has bad times, Shalee. You never find one without. What matters is the bond, the love. We worked hard for ours, and at the time of my departure, it was the strongest it had ever been. We were devoted to each other; we had our quabbles, but we'd do anything for each other."
Shalee stood up, dropping the blanket to the bench. "Things change. Life changed, and you have to adapt. You have to let me go."
Raphae stood up as well. "What about everything left unresolved? All those kisses, all those 'almosts'?"
Shalee shook her head. "I don't know...I don't know how to explain it."
"You've haven't written me off completely yet, Shalee. You've shown me that. You've shown yourself that. You're still in love with me, and I'm still in love with you."
Shalee opened her mouth to argue with him; to deny it. But then she quickly closed it, knowing it was useless. She stepped over to him and planted her mouth firmly against his, forcing her tongue between his lips as she curled her fingers into the fabric of his uniform. Her tongue moved at a furious pace as she kissed him senseless before pulling away. Flushed. Panting. "Shut up," She said as she let go of him, "I dont want to hear it anymore." And with that she turned to walk out of the library.
As things began to erode between Shalee and Eran because of his transgressions and his two attempted suicides, Raphael attempted to both drive the wedge between Shalee and Eran deeper and console her at the same time, with predictable results.
Raphael and Shalee would have a few more strictly-friendly encounters in the next week. However, strictly non-friendly encounters began to happen between Raphael and Eran as the two began to run into each other more and more often.
9th day of the 8th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint recieved his whiskey and took a quick look about the Keep's Public Hall, noticing Shalee. "Rather dull patrol, hm?" he called out to her.
Shalee Lianne glared at him, her blue gaze hot with anger. "Don't talk to me. Don't you dare talk to me."
Raphael frowned. "I'm sorry?"
"Were you going to shoot him?" Shalee asked, talking about the encounter earlier that day where Eran Mintor had been flying about the warzone in a Mammoth-class industrial, attempting to goad the crusaders into attacking him. Many had bumped into him to keep him of gate, including Raphael.
Raphael realized what she was referring to. "Of course not. I merely wished to talk. You think, after what I told you last night, that I would do something so selfish?" Raphael shot back, referencing is condemnation of Eran's suicide attempt.
"You lock someone up on a stargate to talk? Is that how it works?"
"That was merely to get his attention. I noticed your target lock on me, yet you did not fire, just as I did not."
Shalee rolled her eyes. "I dont believe you for one second. You were there just like all the other vultures. I don't know whats wrong with the goddamned militia these days. There is no honor."
Raphael frowned. "How dare you. Go through my records and find one incident of my firing upon a neutral."
"We both know it is different with him."
"Yet I did nothing but let him know I was there. If I had wanted to kill him, I've had plenty of chances, yet I never have. Don't you accuse me of what I have not done."
Shalee laid her hands loosely on her hips as she shook her head with disgust. "Next time you want to 'talk' with someone use the goddamned neocomm system."
"You saw his communications in the local channels. There was no other way to address him but through direct action."
Shalee was silent for a moment and turned her back to him. "Whatever." She paced over to the fireplace.
Raphael followed after her, frowning. "I still don't see how you could be so upset over me doing nothing. I had every reason to fire upon him after what he's done, and yet I held myself. I let him go."
Shalee turned around to face him again, her chin tilted up defiantly, face flushed with anger. "Because he tried to kill himself already, and obviously that little trip through low sec on auto pilot was another attempt. I'd rather it not come from YOUR hands, goddammit. You shouldn't have even been there."
Raphael frowned yet again. "Shouldn't have been there? He was going to Huola, just like the rest of us."
"Fuck that. I had time to make it to the 24th station and back and you still hadn't jumped."
"I told you I was talking to him. If you had seen his threats and taunts in the local channels, you'd be surprised everyone didn't fire upon him."
Shalee swayed her hand. "Whatever. You could have commed him and we both know it. You're just trying to justify it now."
"Justify what? The fact that I didn't shoot him? But it's fine, Shalee. You're not mad at me, but him, because he's doing it again, and you've just spent a week being upset over him, so it's easier to be upset with me."
"You didn't shoot him because I came back."
"Whether you were there or not, you'd know if I had shot him. Your presence made no difference."
"I don't believe that."
17th day of the 8th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint came storming in Shalee's room in the Keep behind Eran Mintor and dropped his hand from his broken nose. "Eran, I don't know who you think I am, but..." he looked into the room and sees Seriphyn Inhonores. "...what the fuck?"
Seriphyn just smiled awkwardly as he passed Raphael while exiting.
Eran looked up and turned to Raphael, frowning. " .......I......fuck.....are you okay? Shit.....I'm so sorry....."
Raphael looked at Seriphyn leaving, baffled, before he looked back up at Eran, his anger temporarily forgotten. "What the fuck was he...?"
Eran snarled. "Next time don't get in my way."
"What the hell is going on?" She gets to her feet, her expression concerned as Eran and Raphael barge in.
"I don't know...." Eran turned back to Shalee and looked at her with sadness in his eyes. ".....we really need to talk....."
"So talk."
Raphael frowned instantly at the snarl. "You sunnuva bitch. You're lucky I don't start brawling with you now!" He frowned heavier as Eran and Shalee converse.
Shalee dropped her hands to her hips, sighing with frustration. "I was in the middle of something and the two of you storm up here? What the fuck is going on?"
Eran paused briefly and looked down at the floor, "I'm sorry for interupting but.....I couldn't help it......I needed to see you right away......I need to know.....W-What are we?"
Shalee looked to Raphael's broken nose, for the moment ignoring Eran's question. "Did you really hit him?"
Eran blinked. He...I.....yes..."
Raphael reached up to his nose, glaring at Eran, and set it back in place with a slight crunch. His toes curled in his boots from the pain, but he does his best to show none.
Shalee pointed to Raphael. "You. Sit down." She motioned to one chair, "Eran, please sit down," pointing to the sofa. She walked over to the minibar and wrapped a few icecubes in a small hand towel and neared Raphael, "This should help stop the bleeding..."
Eran plopped down into the sofa and folded his hands together, his breathing calming down as he stared at the floor with a look of worry.
Raphael frowned at the trainer-like commands he recieved but obliged, took the seat, and said nothing.
Shalee laid the cold cloth against his nose, looking at him with concern. She then looked to Eran, her expression just as worried. "I think we all need a drink." She moved over to the mini bar again and grabbed three shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She handed one to each of them, full, then took a shot herself to calm her nerves.
Eran held onto the shot and looked at it.
"Drink it," Shalee commanded.
Eran looked up at her and frowned before downing the shot and handing her the glass.
Raphael downed his before indicating he'd like another.
Shalee refille her glass and did the shot quickly, needing the alcohol desperately. "Do you want another?" She refilled Raphael's glass. "Eran?"
".......Please."
Shalee nodded and refilled his glass. She inhaled and exhaled a slow breath. "On the bright side, I'm glad this happened."
Eran downed the second shot. "Huh?"
Shalee laughd to herself as she shook her head. "I was just about to throw Seri out, you two saved me the trouble."
Raphael downed the second shot as well before he glanced up at Shalee, his face unhappy from the nose incident. He held the glass in his hand, the glass slipping into the center of his palm.
".....oh......what......what was he doing here?" Eran asked.
Raphael looked up at Shalee expectantly. This better be good.
Shalee refilled all of their glasses by habit. "His daughter had been staying with us, you remember Anette? She left a few weeks ago but he dropped by to talk about her birthday and to tell me that she was missing me."
"And...then he basically asked if I wanted to sleep with him."
"...oh," Eran growled from his stomach. "That fucking Jin-Mei....."
Raphael crunched the shotglass in his hand.
Eran downed his third shot immediately and shut up, his eyes stuck in a frowning position and his face turned redder by the second.
"I was about to throw him out when you two came in....So yeah. Anyhow. Broken nose...and Eran looking all wild. Did I miss a fight?"
Raphael gripped the glass shards in his hand, looked up at Shalee, and stated flatly, "I'm going to need some more ice."
"....no....not a fight....just a mistake. I thought Raphael was a guard or someone trying to stop me.....I reacted rashly....I had to come here...."
Raphael scoffed. "You can be assured that if there was a fight we'd both be bleeding. A lot."
Shalee frowned at the bloody hand. "Dammit." She moved over to the mini bar and returned with a wine bucket full of ice and another hand towel. "Why, Eran? What's wrong?"
Raphael growled. "I just asked him what the fuck he was doing knocking everyone and everything over," he said, glaring at Eran.
Eran glanced over at Raphael bleeding from his hand and nose now. He scratched behind his ear. "I'm sorry Raphael....I am...." He looked up at Shalee, still a worried expression. "I just....really need to talk with you.....about....about us."
Raphael continued the glare, but held off on anything verbal for the moment.
"Alright." Shalee sat on the edge of Saint's chair and took his hand and pulled the shards of glass from his palm. "Stupid men." She managed to get all the glass out then went for the med kit and wrapped his hand with a nanobandage. "Why all of a sudden, Eran, do you need to talk about us?"
"I've needed to for awhile but I can't wait......"
Raphael switched his glare to Shalee for a quick moment at her comment about men before he looked back at Eran.
Shalee stood up. "Raphael...please give us some privacy."
Eran hid his face in his hands.
Raphael looked up at Shalee, not wanting at all to leave her there with the seemingly bipolar Brutor.
Eran dropped his hands and reached for the bottle, filling his shot glass and downing the whole thing before he repeated the process a second time and setted the bottle on the floor.
Shalee sighed under her breath as Raphael didn't leave. She turned her gaze to Eran. "What do you want from me?"
"I need to know what we are.....I need to know if it's still possible....for me to...." Eran blurted out, not caring for Raphael being there anymore. He shook his head. "I....."
"I told you that I've not forgiven you yet....you aided the enemy against me."
"I know." Eran looked at her hands and searched for the ring he gave her months ago.
"And I told you I didn't want your broken promises. Words don't mean anything to me right now."
"Right...." Eran looked up at her with great sadness when he couldn't find the ring on her finger. So.....what now?"
"I don't have any answers for you. I don't know."
Eran nodded slowly, looking back at the floor.
Raphael groaned, having heard this conversation before.
"....alright....I'll......try to......" Eran sighed and stood up, looking at Shalee again. "I'm sorry for the commotion.....maybe I should just stay on Roushzar......"
"Are you going to be alright?"
Eran walked towards the stairs, stopped next to Raphael and patted him on the shoulder, "Sorry for your nose.......I really am." He looked back at Shalee and said nothing. Eventually he shrugged.
Raphael used all of his will not to get up and start a physical fight.
"If not, I'll do my best to keep distance from people like Raphael here....Bye....." Eran said before disappearing down the stairs.
Once Eran left and after a brief interruption from Seriphyn disappearing, Raphael took his chance for a talk.
"What do you wish to talk about?" Shalee asked.
"About when you're going to stop denying both of us and just kiss me again."
"Im not going to have sex with you tonight."
Rphael looked taken aback. "I don't think I said anything of the sort."
"...but will you stop at just a kiss?"
"...can you?"
"I have enough complications right now that I don't need to add to that by falling back into bed with you. So, yes."
Raphael frowned. "'Falling back?' What's wrong with sleeping with me?"
"Because things are complicated."
Raphael frowned, going back to looking at the ceiling with his head back. "Sorry to be such a nusiance."
Shalee glanced up to the ceiling as well. "You're not a nusiance."
"You only talk of me as if I do nothing but exacerbate your problems."
"Things are complicated right now and I don't even understand how you could even want to be with me knowing I have feelings for another man."
Raphael kept staring at the ceiling. "Because the belief that you'll come around and realize that we're best together is the only thing keeping me going these days. The only thing keeping me from falling apart."
Shalee took another sip from the bottle and said nothing.
Raphael went silent, resenting her.
"Well."
Raphael slanted his gaze to her.
Shalee stood. "Well. If you don't want anything else...I have some things to see to."
Raphael frowned. "So you're done with me now, huh?"
"Done? What do you mean?"
"You're leaving."
Shalee shrugged.
"What is it about me, Shalee, that you don't love anymore?"
"It's not about love, Raphael. It's not. It's more complicated than that."
Raphael furrowed his brows. "Then what? Financial security? Status? Why can't you tell me?"
Shalee cocked a brow. "I am a capsuleer, I don't think I really have to worry about the security."
"Exactly my point. You have the luxury to choose based on love."
"Love? Love. You think it's as simple as love."
Raphael got angry. "You won't tell me anything else!"
"So tell me what I am supposed to do. I love him too!"
"Look at what he did to you! He's thought of nothing but himself this whole time!"
"Don't you think I know that!"
"I've done nothing but improve myself for you, Shalee. I've thought of no one but you."
Shalee sighed. "I cant help how I feel, Raphael. I dont do this to hurt you."
Raphael stood up and looked at her. "No, but you'll see. You have to."
"I'll see?"
Raphal nodded. "That I've done everything for you. You're too smart not to see that."
Shalee fell silent and looked at the floor.
Raphael brought a hand up to his forehead, careful not to touch his nose. "You know I never betrayed you, Shalee. You'll see that I'm the one who made you happiest, that we're the couple." He hoped he wasn't not coming off as crazy. "And when you do...I'll be waiting."
Shalee threaded her fingers through her hair.
Raphael turned to look at her. "Look, I'm not trying to sound crazy or anything, I just believe that we had something great. And that you'll want that again."
"I don't think you sound crazy."
Raphael let out an audible sigh. "Good. I know you have enough crazy following you around. I don't want to add to it."
Shalee nodded.
"Just look at our reactions, Shalee. When you left me, I was devestated, yes. What did I do? What did he when you left him? I fought to get you back. He shot himself."
"I don't want to talk about it."
Raphael nodded, turning away. "I understand. We don't have to talk about it, but you know you have to think."
"I don't want to talk about it."
Raphael raised his hands to chest level, as if surrendering. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. But you know I'm trying to get you back, and any facts I can state to help my case, well, I'm going to state them."
Shalee ignored what he said and sat back down, yawning. "Whatever." She pulled a pillow beneath her head and stared at the fireplace.
Raphael frowned. "Shalee..." he said, softly.
"Yes?"
"...I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For upsetting you tonight."
Shalee swayed her hand dismissively.
Raphael frowned, thinking she was trying to get rid of him.
"It's just been a strange day no need to apologize."
Raphael was silent for a few moments. "So....am I going to get that kiss?"
When Shalee began to throw out more invites to Minmatar genrals for private dinners, Raphael grew worried that she was looking for the 'next Eran;' the next minmatar general to convert to the Amarr using her body.
20th day of the 8th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint had taken to watching over the security feeds from the Public Hall, trying to see if Shalee would bring him to Athra as she had undoubtedly brought Eran. The sensors picked up an encrypted message being fed into her datapad, but was unable to break it. Luckily, Shalee's reply was not.
Shalee sent a quick response, giving Kuan all the necessary information he would need to slip past local security.
Raphael confronted her about it the next day.
21st day of the 8th month, YC 112
Shalee Lianne shrugged. "Not really in the mood for all of these lectures." Raphael had just cautioned and warned her about what she's done and what she could possibly cause. He countered her arguements of 'I know what I'm doing' with the the fact that everything usualy blows up in her face.
"You think I enjoyed this?"
Shalee nodded.
Raphael frowned. "Anything but. Why would I enjoy such a thing?"
Shalee shrugged. "I dont know."
Raphael sighed heavily. "Why do you continue to think so little of me?"
"I dont think little of you. I think a lot of you, else I wouldnt be here."
"Then why would you think I would enjoy that talk? Why do you think I would enjoy creating animosity between us?"
"Then why would you do it?"
"To caution you, dammit! If I wanted to cruicify you I would have already!"
Shalee frowned again as he raised his voice.
"I've seen you brought to the brink of destruction once already, and I don't want to see it again."
Shalee sighed softly. "Thank you for caring."
Raphael turned from her. "I know I can't have you, but that doesn't mean I want to see you destroyed." He left her with that.
Eran's rejoining the Knighthood a few days later was taken by Raphael to mean that she had forgiven him and was taking him back. After an excursion where Raphael was assisting her to raise her CONCORD security status, the two met for a drink. He gave her the 'Fast Talk' skillbook to further assist her, then mentioned Eran rejoining and his own 'losing' before saying goodbye and walking off. A moment later he recieved a message from her.
...
From: Shalee Lianne
Sent: 2010.08.24 06:16
To: Raphael Saint,
I don't know what you are implying but I'm not with Eran now.
-Shalee
"I was happy to have recieved that. If she had no interest in me, it would have been too easy to just not say anything and allow me to walk away," Raphael says his expression not matching the feelings he had just discussed. "And then...."Raphael started, taking another long drink from the flask, the look on is face distant. "Then, she asked me what I never even imagined she'd think to say..."
27th day of the 8th month, YC 112
Shalee Lianne dashed up the steps holding her bottle of whiskey, hearing footsteps behind her. Once into the turret she moved over to the sofa area.
Raphael Saint walked up the stairs slowly, finally making his way to the door and stood in the doorway, looking at her questioningly.
"Are you coming inside?"
Raphael nodded. "Sure." He stepped inside, looking behind him for Eran before he took a few steps towars Shalee. "So, what's up?"
Shalee motiond to the sofa. "Have a seat." She glanced towards the door, waiting on Eran as well. "What did you want to show me, by the way?"
Raphael walked over towards the sofa, looking at her curiously. He took a seat, answering her. "Eh, it can wait."
"But I'm curious..."
"I'm more curious as to the meaning of this meeting you've called."
"But I asked first."
"Yes, but I very well can't take you to see it if you've arranged this little pow-wow."
"Oh. I suppose that makes sense."
Raphael waited for Eran for a few more moments. "Sure takes his time, doesn't he?"
"He could have been busy."
"Doing what?"
"Eating? He was in the kitchen."
Eran Mintor walked slowly up the stairs, his bowl still in his hands.
Raphael shrugged.
Eran stopped at the top of the stairs and looked over at Raphael and Shalee. He gulpped audibly and spoke quietly, "Oh....I....am I interupting?" He put one foot back down the stairs.
Raphael scoffed. "Hardly. We've been waiting."
"No, of course not. We've been waiting for you. Come in, please." Shalee added.
Eran blinked. "Oh....for me? I....alright." He walked towards them and took a seat near the window. "Sorry....I didn't know.....an attendant told me someone was looking for me while I was cooking....my apologies..." He closed his eyes and bowed his head.[ Raphael sighed to himself slightly.
Eran rested the bowl of steaming food in his lap and looked up at them. ".....are you two hungry?"
Shalee shook her head. "No, but thank you." She took a long sip from the bottle, felt the alcohol coursing through her.
Eran looked to Raphael and extend the bowl towards him.
Raphael held up his hand slightly, declining.
Eran nodded again and returned the bowl to his lap but didn't eat.
"I need to talk to the both of you..." Shalee started.
Eran watched the steam rise from his food, "Alright...."
Raphael waited.
" .....Is this about what I did to Raphaels face? I truely am sorry...." Eran began.
Shalee glanced away to the window, listening to the sound of the storm outside. She was silent for a few moments as she tried to gather her thoughts, to make sense of what she wanted to say. "I think...that you're both in love with me, still..." She quickly glanced to the both of them for conformation.
Raphael remained silent, just looking at her.
Eran turned pale and gulped again, still looking down at the bowl. "....yes....."
Shalee looked to Eran and inhaled a deep breath to gather her courage. "I told you so long ago when we were talking about Sophie, about Raphael, and that it was possible to love more than one person. And that I never really stopped loving him." She glanced to Raphael. "And I told you that he was an assignment, that I had to do my duty to the Empire...and that I ended up falling in love with him."
Eran was frozen still, his mind already reached the conclusion of what he thought she was trying to tell him.
Raphael maintained his impassive look.
"And it's true," Shalee continued. "I love you both, and I don't think it's fair to have to choose. And it's very hard being around you both."
Raphael frowned.
"So...why can't we all make this work. Why do I have to choose?" She asked.
Raphael looked somewhat speechless at the question.
".....I don't.....I don't understand what you're suggesting...." The words barely rolled out of Eran's mouth, like he was afraid to speak.
"Ni Kunni...my ancestory..." Shalee began again. "Well, they didn't have to choose. They had plural marriages.
Eran blinked and looked over at Raphael, his mouth slightly parted. "Okay."
"That was long ago, and neither Eran nor I are Ni-Kunni." Raphael looked over at Eran. "...What?"
"That isn't the point," Shalee said.
Eran said nothing more and looked up at Shalee.
"I g-guess you both need time to think about it," she continued.
Eran shook his head. "I've thought enough about it."
Raphael shook his head as well. "I don't need any time to think about it."
Shaee took a sip of her drink before lowering the bottle and gasped a bit as the liquid burned her throat. "We could be happy."
"I could never be happy with that," Raphael repied.
"....If.....if that's what it takes for me to be with you again....." Eran said, swallowing.
Raphael looked at Eran, disgusted.
Shalee suddenly brightened as Eran agrees, then glanced to Raphael. "Are you happy now? I mean...if you're not...you could at least try it out."
Raphael shook his head, words not coming to him. "You're drunk. You're not thinking clearly."
"But I am," Shalee countered. "I...I think it's the best possible solution really."
Eran closed his mouth and looked down at the floor.
Raphael frowned heavily. "How....how could it be the best possible solution?"
"Because we all could be happy, we really could, if we just try," she answered.
Raphael stood. "Are you kidding me!?!"
Eran blinked and looks up at Raphael.
Shalee looked to Raphael as he stood. "Don't you love me? Don't you want to be with me?"
Raphael glared at her, his lower lip trembling slightly. "Of course I do! You damn well know I do, after all the shit I've gone through and everything I've done for you.....and now this. Just when I thought you couldn't wound me any further....you ask...me to destroy myself."
"How is this any different than when you were sleeping with me when I was with Zenton? At least this would be an honest relationship!"
"Because Zenton never touched you! He was a goddamn fool and he paid his price, but you ask me to lay with this man, here? This man, after everything he did to me?"
"....what does that matter, Raphael...." Eran piped up.
"Would that have mattered?" Shalee asks.
"I understand we don't get along...But if we really love Shalee, then we will have to...This isn't easy for me.....either.....but.....I don't have many options, do I? If this is what she wants....." Eran looked down at the floor and winced slightly.
Raphael turned on Eran. "You have the same goddamn options I do, yet you agree to this!?! What she wants? Do you remember the last time you did what she asked of you!?!"
"Yes...." Eran replied calmly. "But the things I did she wanted aren't what I remember most.....I've found that doing what she doesn't want hurts me more than it hurts her....." He looked up at Raphael. "If I had the choice between this or not having her at all, I'd have to take this."
"And so you agree to a life of misery so that she can run from her problems instead of facing them. Next she'll invite Yida into this," Raphael said.
Eran blinked. "She doesn't love Yida...." He glanced up at Shalee for a moment.
Shalee frowned deeply. "Kuan has nothing to do with this at all, I've no feelings for him at all in that way. He is barely a friend."
Eran looked back at Raphael. "And aren't we facing these problems right now, Raphael?"
Shalee shook her head, "No I don't love him at all."
"You agree to this, Eran, and you give her liscense to sleep with any man she wants, as part of this 'plural marriage.' And you'll just sit there and take it, because you're a goddamn doormat now. Where's your goddamn pride? I liked you better when you were the bitter enemy on the other side of the gate. At least you had a goddamn spine," Raphael said, ripping into him.
Eran closed his eyes and leaned over, his head facing the floor. He inhaled deeply before exhaling and leaning back, opening his eyes. "I may not be the man I used to be but I am still as stubborn and persistent as ever."
"You're just letting her do it again, Eran."
Shalee glanced down as well, her heart racing, feeling as if she were hurting them both, but she knew something had to give. To her this was the best possible solution.
"Do what?" Eran cocked his head slightly.
"Just as she made you join the Empire. Except now, she's trying to get both of us to betray ourselves."
"Made him? I never made him do anything, and he knows that."
"I'm not betraying myself. I want her to myself, yes, but I want her no less....if I can't have her to myself....." Eran nodded in agreement with Shalee. "....and yes....everything I've done, I've done on my own decisions....."
Raphae turned to her. "He was in love with you, dammit, and you gave him an ultimatum. Either you or his home."
Eran twitched and winced. ".....this is my home now."
"And so you would share her? Do you know what that would make her!?! Neither of us will be completely happy, Eran, which in turn means she won't be, because she'll know we aren't. We'll all be miserable in the end."
Eran blinked and just looked at Raphael. "You don't know that...."
"Oh, I know it," Raphael affirmed quickly.
"Are we not miserable now?"
Eran shook his head slowly and looke out the window. "Yes..."
"I can't stand you right now, and you think I'll like you more when I see you lying with her? Knowing that you're the only thing keeping her from being mine?" Raphael asked.
"So kill me then...." Eran said quiety.
"That would accomplish nothing, you fool. Why do you think I haven't ridden myself of you yet? That would only destroy everything I've been trying to accomplish by alienating her."
Eran looked at Raphael with a stern look. "If I'm the one keeping her from you, then you must understand I'm not leaving her...."
"You don't have to leave her."
"So what option do you have, Raphael? If she throws me out the door and never desires to see me again, there's little I can do......but as long as the decision is in my hands....I will stay. Regardless of what I have to go through. I will find a way...."
"What do you think I've been doing this whole time? Reinforcing the idea?" Raphael laughed. "There's someone else who thinks that same way as you, Eran, and he only gets farther from her heart on every attempt."
Eran looked down at his food and poked at it with his fork, playing with it but never raising it to his mouth.
Shalee took another long sip of her drink, feeling slightly dizzyheaded from drinking so much, so quickly. "...if you want to think about it Raphael...you needn't decide now."
Raphael looked at Shalee. "What if I wanted Michaela to join us? What if I said the only way was for you and her to share me."
"That's a fair question, and if you need that, then okay."
Raphael threw his arms up. "Well hell then, let's not leave Eran out. Let's bring in Starsparrow and have us a big ol' fashioned orgy! Might as well pack our bags for the Federation...."
Eran shook his head and stopped playing with his food. He picked up the bowl and stood up, walking towards a table and set the cold food on it. He stood still facing the wall for a moment before he turned around, "That's not what any of us want...you have every right to be riled up about this......I'm trying to be calm Raphael....but listen....the concept of marriage to us is very clear....Unification between two people....not three....not four....nor more....but.....I can't see this coming into reality.....unless....."
"...in some places it's very acceptable and normal." Shalee interrupted.
"But where does it stop, Eran!?! What's the limit!?!" Raphael demanded.
"Unless?" Shalee asked.
"Sure, it's normal in some places.....I am willing to alter..." Eran looked over at Shalee. "Unless Raphael has a change of heart."
"For the past year, year Eran, I've devoted myself to one woman, and now she wants to spread herself between two men. I can't begin to explain how that's tearing me apart."
Eran looked towards the window. "I understand that this isn't easy for you Raphael and if you think it is for me, you're wrong."
"I will never agree to this."
Eran leaned his back against a wall nearby.
"She's asking us to scrifice for her, because we love her. But where's the love for us?" Raphael asked him.
"But I do love you both."
Eran nodded. "That's the thing, Raphael. She does love us....otherwise we wouldn't both be up here....it'd just be you....or me. Donn't you understand? How hard do you think this is for Shalee?" He motioned to Shalee then looked over at her.
"Exactly my point," Raphael started. "She'd be proving her love for us by choosing one and sacrifincg the other."
Eran noticed the bottle in her hand is very low and frowns.
"We're the only ones suffering here, Eran."
Eran looked up at Shalee again, a look of concern on his face before he diverted his attention back to Raphael, "Bullshit. Are you blind?"
"She's trying to take the easy way out." Raphael began. "And you're such a goddamn mess now you can't see it. You'll agree to anything."
Eran let out a sigh.
"As long as you can lick at her boots," Raphael concluded.
"Theres no easy way out!" Shalee interjected.
"I've lost everything....everything but her, Raphael.....of course I'm going to cling onto her ankles until I'm dragged to death.....or maybe someday I can stand up again."
"You're going to need to let go to be able to do that," Raphael countered. "Or you'll be bent to the breaking point."
Eran frowned at Raphael's extension of his metaphor. "The only way I've lived thus far is by being flexible...."
"You are but a man," Raphael stated.
"If I'm bent past my limit, then I will snap.....but until then.....I will continue to bend....so long as I can remain close to my heart..." He smirked a bit. "I often question if I'm even a man, but that's another issue...." He mumbled quietly. "Sometimes I see a mouse in the mirror...."
"She's already stomped on both our hearts, Eran. And now..."
"Yet you still love her, don't you? I know I do...."
"now..." Raphael completed, not finishing his thought.
"Oh you make me out to be such a monster....but you've hurt me too Raphael. Don't pretend like you were a goddamned saint when we were together."
Eran looked over at Shalee and made a note to watch her drinking.
Raphael looked at her. "I never betrayed you, Shalee, and I always fixed whatever went wrong. I never made the same mistake twice."
"You left me."
"No, you left me!" Raphael said, outraged.
Eran stood in silence.
"How dare you compare my walk in the woods to what you've done," Raphael adds.
"Maybe neither of us are right for you, Shalee....have you considered that?" Eran asked her.
Shalee shook her head. "No you left me first, you fucking walked away from me and I have never gotten over that."
Raphael frowned. "You slept at Zenton's place while I was gone!! Was I just supposed to smile at that? I just took a goddamn walk to think about it!"
Eran sighed and took a seat again, rubbing his forehead.
"And then I went on that journey for you, to find answers you sought and I come back to this!" Raphael pointed at Eran.
"I had orders from the Empire!"
"And you watsted no time applying yourself, did you? You cannot tell me I left you, Shalee. When there was never anyone but you that I concerned myself with."
Eran was silent for a moment before joining in. "She was married before, what did you think of that, Raphael?"
"I'm not trying to live in the past," Shalee said.
"I didn't even fucking know about that either!! I found out about that after I found out about you!" Raphael shouted at Eran.
"I can't change what happened, I can only try to make things a little bit better for all of us now.." Shalee said.
Raphael turned back to Shalee. "And I'm telling you that this is not the answer."
Eran spoke with his back to Raphael, his face towards the wall. "It's not like you can claim innocence about it...."
"About what, Eran?" Raphael asked.
"Adultery."
"Oh yes I can. I never knew she was married."
"...he never knew," Shalee confirmed.
"Doesn't matter if you know. You still commited a sin. As did I." Eran spoke quietly. "None of us are perfect, ok?"
Raphael nodded. "Yeah, okay," he said sarcastically to Eran's comment about sins before turning to Shalee.
Shalee locked her blue gaze on Raphael as he looked to her.
"Loving us both only dilutes the love you have for each of us, and Eran and I will never get along. This 'plural marriage' will lead to nothing but bitter hatred."
"You're the only one who is bitter. And my love for one cannot dilute what I feel for the other."
"Because I'm the only one with a clear head at the moment! You're drunk as hell, and Eran's desperately trying to cling to whatver he can. You've already heard him say it."
"...I cannot choose," Shalee stated. This is what I want."
Raphael frowned and shook his headletting out a loud exasperated sigh as he walked over to the sofa, collapsing on top of it.
Eran whispered to the wall, "Father....is this what I've been freed for?" He downs another drink. "....seems the Angels and Demons are still watching over me."
Shalee nodded her head, "Yeah okay." She takes a wobbly step over to him and takes the paperwork, giving it a glance over before singing off on it.
Eran walked over to a window and leaned an arm against the stone wall. He stared out at the snow.
Raphael looked up at Shalee. "It's all or nothing, Shalee, there is no inbetween."
Shalee settled down onto the opposite sofa. She sighed a frustrated little sound as she looked to Raphael. "Then that is your decision?"
"Don't you understand Shalee?" Eran asked.
"It hasn't changed since you first layed out your plan," Raphael replied.
"Neither of us are going to let you go," Eran adds.
"You're wrong. Raphael is letting me go."
Raphael frowned at her. "How can you say that?"
"You just said it was all or nothing..."
"And you refuse to give all? Is that your showing of your love for me? By shoehorning me into a single option? You don't want to choose, so you're making us do it. Either Eran and I pass you between us like a bottle of rum, or neither of us gets to drink."
Eran downed most of his drink and rested it on the window sill.
"...so where do we go from here?" Shalee asked.
Eran didn't say a word.
Raphael merely looked at her, already having told her what she needs to do.
"I'm not choosing," she says in reply to his look.
".....But I did. I chose you. I chose you over everything, Shalee....Now you want us to make your own decisions?"
Raphael frowned. "You already made your decision, Eran. You just said it. Now let her make hers."
"I know," Eran replied.
"I shouldn't need to say everything I've done again. Choosing both is choosing neither. Just when you tried to have both, Eran. When you helped the enemy kill her."
Eran clenched his fist. "It wasn't like that...."
"Save it," Raphael said simply.
Eran nodded and hung his head.
Shalee rubdbed her hands across her face. "Then you've made your choice, Raphael. I'm sorry..."
"So you're choosing him?"
"I chose you both. You will be the one walking away, Raphael."
"You can't choose us both, Shalee."
"I have," shereplied.
Raphael merely looked at her.
Shalee sighed into the silence. "I'm tired. It's been a long day."
"Do you want us to leave you?" Eran asked.
Raphael remained silent.
"I mean....leave the turret....so you can get to sleep...." Eran clarified.
Shalee glanced between them again. "It doesnt matter. I'll be going to bed soon." She shrugged. "I can sleep alone or..."
"Or?" Eran asked.
"...I don't mean for sex obviously. That's just...a complication we all don't need at the moment. Just to sleep, I mean," Shalee clarified as well.
"I don't mind staying on the couch if it helps you sleep."
Shalee nodded her head, "That will be fine."
Raphael stood. "She said it doesn't matter, let us both leave. Let her sleep off the liqour."
Eran turned around and looked at Raphael, then looked at Shalee. "Doesn't matter...." He winced a bit. "Really, Shalee?"
"Tonight.....I think it's best we both leave her be, Eran. Leave her with her thoughts."
Shalee stood and stretched. "Its fine. You both may go....we will talk more tomorrow."
Eran looked at the ground, his eyes twinked in the lamp light. "Right.....I'll be.....I'll be in Roushzar.....Good night, Shalee...."
"Good night Eran, good night Raphael."
Raphael merely nodded to her, before trying to usher both himself and Eran out of her room.
Eran turned without looking back up at either of them and walked down the stairs.
Raphael closed the door behind him, wondering if he should just lock her in forever before he merely followed Eran down the stairs. He didn't think there was enough alcohol in the cluster.
Shalee continued to follow up with Raphael over the next few days, trying to persuade him with words, with her body. No different than when he used his words or body to try to persuade her to love only him. But his refusal was just as steadfast as her assertion it was the best way. Again, the two found thier mutual subborness keeping them apart. However, Raphael was confused by Shalee's renewed friendliness towards him, reminded of when they were originally engaged.
28th day of the 8th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint plopped down in a seat at the headtable in the Public Hall before he placed a quiet order to a servant. He laid his head down on his crossed arms, trying to ease the pain.
Shalee Lianne glanced over to Raphael as she heard him come in. "Excuse me for a moment Vlad." She walked over to Raph and laid her hand gently onto his shoulder, "Are you alright?"
Raphael pulled his head up and looks up at her. "Just a headache," he mumbled miserably.
Shalee started to massage his shoulder, standing behind him, then lifted her fingers to his temples. "Want me to get you some asprin?"
Raphael frowned lightly at her, confused. "No...I'm alright."
Shalee gently rubbed the tips of her fingers against his temples. "Well..alright."
Raphael closed his eyes for a couple seconds before he reached up and gently grabbed her wrist. "What...why?" he asked quietly.
"Why would I get you asprin? For your headache, of course."
Raphael frowned lightly, shaking his head a bit. "I mean....nevermind. Sure, asprin sounds good."
Shalee of course continued to enjoy Eran's company as well as she tried to convince Raphael. With Shalee being his reason for joining and unable to persuade her to drop the idea of a plural marriage, Raphael began to consider leaving the Knighthood. However, for the next few weeks he and Shalee continued to see each other.
As the weeks passed, the continued failures of both of them to convince the other began to cool the relationship between them.
25th day of the 9th month, YC 112
Raphael Saint frowned again. Troubled, he decided to broach the subject. "Shalee...?"
"Hmmm?"
"About what you said, concerning not being able to shoot certain people...."
"Right?"
"....well, do you remember that one time? When I was talking with Eran, keeping him from jumping through to the next system, and you locked me?"
"Yes."
"You didn't freeze up at all."
"I didn't shoot you."
"You sure sounded like you would have."
Shalee glanced down at her neocomm as it beeped with an incoming call from one of the guards. "I wouldnt have, I think," she said as she got to her feet. "Sorry, I need to get to the Hall, theres a problem."
Raphael frowned, her answer bouncing around in her head. 'I think.'
"Soon, however, I wasn't just dealing with Shalee," Raphael says, a slight grumble to his voice. "I began have to debate with her damn subconcious, too."
1st day of the 10th Month, YC 112
The child looked at him oddly. "People leave. Predator left. He said he loved her but then he left. He doesn't care. No body cares."
Raphael Saint frowned. "That's not true. There are those that have stayed, despite everything."
The child flushed with anger, "You left. You came back but you left. Eran left. Garst left. Zenton left. Everyone leaves." She stood up, her tiny little hands balled up into tight fists. "She hates it when people leave."
Raphael tried to keep his voice even, the subject a touchy one. "I was not gone long and I did not leave her."
The little girl glared at him, "She will never forget how you left her in that cabin." She started to pace the room, the long hem of her dress flowing behind her. As she passed the fire, the hologram flickered and she became translucent for a half second. "She remembers."
"Does she remember why?" he asked, watching the child cooly.
The child collapsed to her knees in front of the fireplace and dropped her face to her hands. "Because you LEFT her and she was afraid and went to Zenton's..." Her voice softened just a bit. "You never understood her...you didnt take her with you."
"She couldn't come. I was afraid of what I might do once I found him, and I did not want her to see."
The hologram lifted her head, staring at him once more. She sniffled. "Youre not supposed to be afraid of anything." She shivered suddenly as if cold. On the sofa, Shalee shifted around in her sleep.
Raphael smiled to himself and looked at the floor for a moment before he looked back up at the child. "A man without fear is one who has nothing to lose. I...I left behind the only thing I couldn't lose."
The little girl merely stared at him for a long moment, saying nothing. As if by thought she conjured up her dolls again, several of them. She glanced over to Alexander Audaci, watching him wordlessly.
Raphael stood back up, assuming the conversation over; the child finished with him.
The apparition, who introduced itself to new people with 'Raphael calls me Red' after their first encounter, was a hologram projection of a five or six year old girl with bright blue eyes and curly red hair; a younger Shalee. She only appeared while Shalee slept, the nature of her appearances eventually being attributed to a malfunctioning slave set. The child's willingness to talk to anyone - friend of Shalee or not - about anything caused Raphael to label her as a security threat. A belief that he had vary levels of success with trying to convince the others.
Shalee and Raphael would have one final exchange before Raphael went to go train in the imperial naval academy.
4th day of the 10th month, YC 112
Shalee Lianne leaned against the pew with her arms folded, looking at him. "You asked me what you are to me? What exactly are you looking for me to say? That I don't still have feelings for Eran?"
"I want to know what I am to you. Why, when I'm the one who's hurt you the least, I'm treated the worst," Raphael Saint said.
"You're not treated 'the worst'. But you want things I cannot give right now."
"When can you?"
Shalee eyed him curiously. "You want me to give you some time that I can commit? It's not going to happen like that, I don't know if I ever can commit to anyone anymore."
Raphael stood up, furious. "I didn't do a goddamn thing to you! I walked out of that cabin because you greeted my return with news of your sleeping at Zenton's. And you...." shakes his head, almost speechless, "you put it on the same level as Eran's aiding the enemy's efforts against you and Zenton's destruction of your property. What is wrong with you!?"
Shalee shook her head, "I do not. But things have changed..."
"Yes, things have changed. You have no sense of gravity or responsibility any more. I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore," Raphael replied, furious.
Shalee widened her eyes, her temper elevating to matching his own. "The fuck I don't have a sense of responsibility? I have been busting my ass keeping this corp together while fighting this war! How dare you say such a thing. How dare you."
"And looks what's happened! Reds prancing about our very headquarters, ex-milita members hunting our Knights. A very fine job you've done!"
Shalee glared at him. "The rules of the Keep have been set by our CEO, that is not my doing, and how dare you blame me for Zenton war deccing us!"
"Don't give me that shit, Shalee. I know you share his views of who should be allowed in. Hell, he wanted fewer reds in there than you did! What about Muskells? He left under your supervision and now hunts us the very same."
"You don't know anything at all. I'm the one who has tightened the security here. God, you're pathetic, and if you really believe I'm doing such a poor job then leave."
Raphael's datapad beeped. He reached for it and his face fell after a few seconds. "And now you're making a goddamn mockery of yourself for the entire cluster to see!"
Shalee rolled her eyes.
Raphael glared at her. "That's exactly the response I expected from you. You used to have some self respect, and people could respect you. Now you've just made yourself a goddamn sideshow for all to enjoy."
Shalee fell silent, her face flushed with hot anger. She looked away, "Go to hell."
"Is there no part of the woman I fell in love with left in there?"
"Stop living in the past, Raphael."
"The past is the only place where you're not a goddamn joke anymore."
Shalee looked away again, staring at the stained glass window across the room. "If that's what you really think of me....then I don't know why you are even here."
Raphael sighed heavily and took his seat again. "I came here because I thought I could get you back, thought I could stop you from going down this road you're travelling. When Eran betrayed you, he betrayed you, I thought that was my chance. But like an idiot you went running back to him. You let him back in, and now taunt me with his very presence. I didn't do anything close to what he or Zenton did, yet I'm the one being trampled into the dirt. You told me you loved me, but I mistakenly believed that it was the kind of love you used to have for me, and not the love you have for your favorite pair of shoes. I'm tired of the way you've treated me, the way you're treating me now, and you're non-answers and lies. I did nothing, nothing, to deserve what you've done to me.
Shalee tilted her chin up defenisvely as her eyes watered, though she did not cry. "How dare you speak to me like this," she said in a very low voice. "You are so god damned selfish, I can't believe you are even saying such a thing to me, after all I have given to this Empire. To this war. To this corp. To you. I gave myself to you and you fucked it up and I can't let it go. Yes I sitll love you but I've said all along that I'm NOT going to be involved in another relationship. Not exclusively."
"The only thing I fucked up was coming back. I should've known then that you were goddamn insane. And now you lend yourself out to whoever catches your fancy, making public offers for sexual liasons. The woman I fell for is dead. Gone. And you are still in a relationship. I can't go 2 jumps without hearing you called 'Eran's woman.' But go, you two deserve each other. He betrayed everyone and you betrayed me. The two traitors, together forever."
Shalee glanced back at him before turning around and leaving the room, "Bastard." she muttered just before slamming the door.
It would be weeks before the two spoke again.
6th day of the 11th month, YC 112
"How can you not know what I mean when I talk about the event that defines our current social interactions?" Raphael asked, speaking to Shalee at the headtable in the Public Hall.
"That is in the past."
"Just as our conversation you're holding against me is."
"That is different and you know it."
"Different as in extremely less severe?"
Shalee sighed with annoyance. "What do you want, Raphael? Are you here to throw more insults at me?"
"Not at all, Shalee. I had envisioned a nice agreeable evening but you didn't want any of it because I was 'mean to you,' despite what you did to me. But of course what you did is 'different' and it's ok, where what I did is completely inexcusable."
"Nice agreeable evening? With you? Ha. After the way you've treated me? No. That's not going to happen."
"Please, enlighten me on what I've done that is so horrible."
"You don't have any faith in me at all."
"How so?"
Shalee sighed. "So you think that I am a disgrace to the corporation."
"Not at all. You are the corporation, practically."
"It's not what you said."
"What did I say?" Raphael asked, confidant he could counter whatever she had to bring up.
Shalee sighed and said nothing. "I'm tired of this conversation."
"I'm not the one who decided to have it, Shalee."
"Have it?"
Raphael was taken aback for a second at her inability to follow the conversation. "The conversation. This isn't what I came here to talk about at all. You brought it up."
"Then what did you want to talk about?"
"Well it certainly seems foolish to talk about such now, seeing as how you're in the mood to be mad at me for a few harsh words said weeks ago."
Shalee shrugged her shoulders. "If you say."
Raphael was quiet for a moment as he dropped his eyes to the table and shook his head, gathering his thoughts.
Shalee glanced out to the rest of the Keep as he fell silent.
Raphael looked back up at her after a moment. "So..." he started, a bit awkwardly, "...what's new with you?"
"Nothing really. Same old stuff. War and all of that." Shalee glanced over to the people out in the Keep. "Did you Michael came back?"
Raphael's eyes flashed with intensity. "...What'd you say?"
"Michael Priboj. It's not his body but it is him. In a new clone'd body." She nodded her head towards Milan.
Raphael turned around suddenly in his chair, having been across from Shalee and his back to the crowd. "Which one?" he asked with a bit of urgency.
Shalee pointed to Milan. "Him."
Raphael narrowed his gaze at Milan before he turned back to Shalee. "You mean, after all that, after everything...he just waltzes right back in here?" His voice came out as more of a growl.
"Pretty much, yes."
Raphael's fists clench. "So...I didn't have to go on that god forsaken trip?"
"Well its not like we knew at the time."
"If I hadn't gone..."
Shalee gave a slight nod of her head.
Raphael pushed his chair back, from the main table the screech echoed out into the rest of the hall. He stood up, for a moment staring at Milan before he quickly began to stride towards him.
Shalee pushed away from the table, following after him. "Raphael....don't do anything foolish."
Several people turned their attention to the sound of the chair.
"Crazy isn't so bad. There was a nice man that once told me that I was 'crazy'," Milan Skrlec said to Aldrith Shutaq. He turned and saw Raphael coming towards him.
Aldrith watched Raphael approach with a bland expression. "Oh boy, maybe he knows?"
"Hello. My name is Milan Skrlec," Milan introduced himself as Raphael arrived, offerin his hand.
Raphael stopped just short of walking right over Milan, grabbing his hand roughly and attempted to pull him up from his seat.
Aldrith rose immediately and attempted to break them up. "Stoppit," he said grumpily.
Shalee gave a quick glance to Aldrith, her pale face etched with worry. "Do something..."
Milan drew his hand back and pulled away from Raphael, tipping the seat over.
"Are you a bad man?" Milan was afraid, panicky, and shivering out of nervousness.
"Don't you play a goddamned fool you sunnvabitch," Raphael said angrily.
"I... see... mabye... transferse velocity... no... because..." Milan rambled.
Aldrith grabbed on to both their shirts with an iron, artificial grip while he simultaniously pushed them apart. He looked to Raphael and asked in a very pleasant tone, "Do you know this funny man? I'd love to know."
Milan covered his ears and screamed.
"It's Commander Priboj, from PIE," Shalee offered.
Aldrith shook Milan grufly and said, "Do be quiet, please."
Raphael attempted to reach out and grab Milan before being pulled back by Aldrith. "This is the son of a bitch that caused everything!"
Aldrith snapped his eyes to Shalee. "What?"
"Priboj... He's a nice man." Milan snapped back to himself.
Aldrith's eyebrows knitted into an impossible shape as he looked to Milan. "Whaaaaat, noooooo. Really?"
"He has a mommy. And she's nice too." Milan smiled to himself. "If you know Mr. Priboj, you're a nice man that just looks like a bad man."
Shalee looked at Milan oddly, then to Raphael. "Don't do anything to him, he is not himself. You need to leave him alone, it's all in the past."
Milan offered his hand.
"This is different," Raphael said derisively to Shalee.
Aldrith stared straight ahead, still holding both at the ends of either arm, his expression quite baffled. "I didn't even know the Commander. Did I?"
Aldrith looked at his hand then put it down. "I want a cookie."
"Of course you knew him, Aldrith. He came to the Basilica....but he disappeared probably before you came into PIE," Shalee replied.
Aldrith tilted his head upwards, quite alone in his thoughts. He then shook his head and shouted, "Alright, what the hell is going on?!"
Milan, having escaped Aldrith's grasp, wandered away mumbling about cookies and nanites.
Shalee looked to Raphael again. "Let it go."
"Don't you tell me what do to, goddammit. You lost the right to meddle in my business long ago," Raphael retorted.
Aldrith's expression took on a dangerous look when he was ignored.
"Fuck you, then. But know this, if you lay one finger on him I'm calling the guards and you will be arrested," Shalee shot back at Raphael.
Milan stoped and looked at the floor. He then got on his hands and knees, put his forehead on the floor and flapped his arms like a bird.
"Oh dear God, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU TWO AND A JIBBERING COMMANDER OF PIE HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER!" Aldrith shouted.
Raphael sideglanced to Aldrith. "Release me."
Aldrith let go of Raphael, seeming to give up on it all. "Well I've just had the stupidest night ever."
"He's angry at Michael, probably blames him for our problems," Shalee said. "But he had NOTHING to do with it Raphael, its time you face the truth!"
Milan continued his 'turkey dance.'
Aldrith clicked his tongue at the silence. "Yup. Fucking weird."
Raphael straightened his naval uniform. "And just what truth, besides the fact that I left a fiance and came back to this," he said, motioning up and down to indicate Shalee. "I left, at your request, to find that man," he pointed at Milan. "And come back to have the goddamn ring thrown in my face."
"Shalee is a nice person," Milan offered from his strange position on the floor.
Shalee glared at him. "I sent you away and it doesn't matter why. It doesnt matter that you went to search for Michael or for God himself, I sent you away because I hated you."
"He's also the one who introduced the goddamn agency to us as well," Raphael continued.
Aldrith blew a bit of air through his lips as Raphael went on, still utterly lost. "Why do I bother again? I should just chuck all three of you in the snow and let you lot sort it all."
"You think I've forgotten the way you treated me," Shalee said to Raphael.
"SNOW ANGELS!!!" Milan shouted.
Raphael looked taken aback. "What?"
Shalee looked to Aldrith. "You remember. Say you remember. You were there that night he hit me."
Milan stood up and flapped his arms as if he was making angels.
"Maybe you can all play Brutor Roulette while you're at it," Aldrith concluded.
Milan stopped. "What's Brutor Roulette?"
"The one where you put a semi-automatic to everyone's head and pull the trigger to see what happens," Aldrith answered.
"You mean the night you almost castrated me through blunt force trauma?" Raphael asked Shalee incredulously.
"Woah, now that's interesting," Aldrith said and suddenly looked at Raphael.
"That sounds most unpleasant. Does that mean that you were hurt?" Milan asked. "Was it... them?" He asked, becoming paranoid.
"Hm. I do remember that night, Shalee. I felt very bad for leaving you, but it seems you were quite capable of taking care of yourself," Aldrith replied to her request.
Shalee stood there flushed with anger.
"Okay, okay wait. Can we all start from the beginning?" Aldrith asked.
"I think I had the right to defend myself, and all I did was give you a slight slap, nothing neededing a trip to the medical bay as I almost had," Raphael retorted. "And you're telling me it all spawned from that!?!"
"I don't want to talk about this. It's over and done with, it's in the past."
"For God's sake, would you stop flip-flopping on the 'it's in the past" sentiment? Is it only okay for you to use it?" Raphael countered angrily.
Aldrith took a deep breath and let it out, trying to regain a sense of control on his own Hall. He turned around and righted the chair that was overturned when Milan lept out of it. "Alright. Everyone sit down."
"So... Mr. Raphael... are you a nice man?" Milan asked him.
"Do not address me," Raphael replied quickly.
"TST! Sit," Aldrith demanded.
"Not a nice man," Milan decided before sitting down on the floor in a heap
Shalee gave Aldrith a frown, feelng betrayed. She folded her arms across her chest defensively and said nothing yet her expression said everything. They all could go fuck themselves for all she cared.
Raphael frowned heavily and took a half lunge at Milan. "I'll show you 'not a nice man!' "
Milan scooted away. "NOT A NICE MAN!!!" He stopped and stood up calmly.
Aldrith stopped Raphael with one arm and with the other lifted Milan up bodily with impatience and plopped him into a chair.
Milan umphed as he landed in the chair.
Raphael turned back to Shalee. "If you hated me from then, why'd you say 'yes'?"
"Do I have to do with same with you two?" Aldrith asked.
"What do you want from me?" Shalee spoke in a very controlled voice, even tempered. "Im sorry, okay? I dont do very relationships very well."
Aldrith grabbed both Shalee and Raphael by the arm like they were children and started pushing them into chairs. "Yes, yes, sad tragedy about the wedding, blah blah, sit."
"Romanticism.... cascading dopamine reaction in the pre-frontal cortex caused by 'aesthetically pleasing' external environmental stimuli," Milan rambled.
Shalee jerked her arm from Aldrith's grasp as she took a begrudging seat. "FINE. I'm sitting, are you happy?"
Raphael also jerked his arm to get out of Aldrith's grasp. "Shut up, Aldrith. We'll see how you react when your marriage falls apart. Someone like you and the Admiral cannot last."
Milan smiled.
"Thank you, Shalee. Raphael? Do you really need a time-out? If you'd shut up and explain to me why you want to kill the crazy one I might be nicer, eh?" Aldrith said.
"I'm happy Shalee... Why is he not happy?" Milan asked, indicating Raphael.
Shalee stretched out a hand to Milan. "Come here."
"What are you having so much trouble wrapping your mind around, Aldrith? Shalee said he was Priboj, and that man brought disaster and ruin upon both Shalee and I," Raphael said.
Milan stood up and crossed the small space between he and Shalee, taking care to avoid entering arms reach of Raphael. He sat down next to Shalee.
"I'm not familiar with the story. The whole of it, at least," Aldrith answered. "It was a long damn time ago when someone told me, I didn't care and didn't listen and now I have to deal with it again, so I'd really love to sort this problem out tonight so I can start worrying about other things."
Shalee patted Milan on the head as if he were a small child. "Now. Be still. All of your frolicking about is getting on my nerves." She looked to Aldrith and Raphael. "Do we have to do this?"
"He's the one that brought Shalee to the agency's attention, and then dragged me into it as well. He's caused both of us a whole deal of trouble," Raphael began to explain.
"The agency. The Impieral Intelligence service people who were mucking with you?" Aldrith asked.
Shalee nodded. "They didn't want me meddling into it...they didn't want me to find Michael."
"Michael Priboj is a nice man," Milan added.
"Ah, those people. Right. And why did they not want you to find him?" Aldrith asked.
"The goddamn shit they did to us both, Aldrith.....just let me talk to him in private," Raphael requested.
"And where did he even go?" Aldrith asked. "All I heard was that he dissapeared."
"Because they did not want me to jeopordize his mission," Shalee answered.
"Which was-?"
"It's a long story, but they left him to die, Aldrith. They sacrificed him. What's one life in the name of the Empire, right? We murder thousands everyday. What's one in the grand scheme of things?" Shalee asked.
Aldrith shrugged. "I rather not like to think like that, but okay...? I still don't get what the point of all this is. What were they using you for and why was he 'saccrificed'."
"His last holo to me....he was about dead. I just assumed the worse," Shalee started. "They weren't using me at that time. I wasn't used until later...until I had to convince Eran to defect."
Aldrith grimaced and one eye closed spasmaticly. "Gyaaah, I think I just had an anyurism. Okay, fine, I remember you telling me that."
"They might not have been using you, but they weren't shy about paying you visits, either," Raphael said to her.
"Or... wait, no, I remember you fighting with Eran about it in front of me. Yeah, that's it," Aldrith corrected.
"I did my duty," Shalee stated.
"Is Eran a nice man?" Milan asked.
"But you didn't leave it at that, Shalee," Raphael said, remembering her mission was to merely distract Eran.
"You told me you loved him too, but alright," Aldrith said to Shalee.
Shalee looked to Raphael, "I am subject to the requirements of the Empire, I did what I was told to do." She glared at him. "It doesnt matter now! I did fall in love with him Aldrith. But that was later."
Milan shied away a little from Shalee when she yelled. He closed his mouth and looked at his lap.
Aldrith sighed heavily. "Alright. So where do we stand right now?"
After this altercation the two didn't speak for another week. A week Raphael spent preparing to enter into the Amarr Navy's officer academy, hoping to better represent and serve within the honorary rank the navy bestowed upon him in the militia.
15th day of the 11th month, YC 112
Shalee Lianne knocked on the door to Raphael's room in the Navy's capital station in Bhizheba. She wore her militia uniform with her hair pulled back in a loose bun.
After a few brief seconds the door slid open, allowing entry into the dark interior. The only light coming into the foyer was through the large picture window on the opposite side of the room. Silhoutted against the starry sky was Raphael's form as he sat on the back of the gold-trimmed scarlet couch, feet on the cushions.
"Shalee..." his reply came just loud enough for her to hear. "I didn't expect you."
Shalee moved across the room, nearing the couch. "Why not? You sent for me."
Raphael let out a quiet, single laughlike sigh. "And you said 'no.' Please...make yourself comfortable," he said as he continued to look out the window ahead of him and gestured to the several large armchairs surrounding a gilded coffee table in front of the couch.
Shalee moved over and took a seat in one of the armchairs, dropping her hands to her lap. "Well Im here now..."
Raphael smiled and ventured a look in her direction. "And I appreciate it." His tone remained quiet. He shifted slightly, causing some of the details on his full naval dress uniform to jingle faintly.
"So what did your message mean...? 'Last time in the flesh I'd see you.'"
"Well," he started, "I'd say my original intent is a lost cause now, so I'll just go so far as to say that I just wanted to wish you farewell in person."
"Where are they sending you?"
"It's not about where they're sending me. It's about my not coming back."
"You're starting to sound like Michael...Why wouldn't you come back?"
Raphael looked over at her. "Why would I?"
"This is by choice?"
"One always has a choice."
"I see. So you're just leaving.."
"I'm finally doing what you've always wanted me to do."
"And what is that, exactly?"
"Leaving."
"But this isn't about you, it's about me."
"Alright. If that is what you need to do."
"I'm just tired of the game is all. It's best for everyone if I just go."
"Is it?"
"Of course. How could it not?"
Shalee sat there in silence for a moment before nodding. "Very well."
Raphael gave her a warm smile. "You can finally add me to that hall of infamy you've been trying so desperately to do."
"I don't understand?"
Raphael looked back ahead. "You do."
"'Hall of infamy'?"
"Everyone else who left you."
Shalee merely sighed.
Raphael took a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket, briefly illuminating his face as he lit the cigarette.
"Since when do you smoke?"
Raphael frowned lightly and looked over at her, but kept his voice soft. "Months."
"I guess I haven't noticed. You used to hate when I did it.."
"Yeah," was all he could muster in response.
Shalee watched him for a moment then looked away, "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"
Raphael smiled slightly. "It's not all I hoped to happen, but yes, I just wanted to say goodbye. I did almost marry you, after all. I didn't want to leave without it."
"Where will you go?"
"Wherever the Navy takes me, I guess."
"You're leaving the corp?"
"My reason for joining has disappeared."
"I see."
Raphael took another puff from his cigarette. "I don't belong anyways."
"Why would you say something so foolish? We carry out the will of God and the Empress. You think you don't belong? You're an Imperial."
Raphael took another puff. "I'm sure you just haven't noticed, but I go against the grain in the Knighthood. Just think about how many 'Imperials' actually make up the ranks. Think about all the times I've disagreed with the corp's decisions. I was the odd man out, but my reason for being there was strong enough to counter all of the trouble." Raphael pulled the cigarette from his mouth and extinguished it on the back of the couch. "But now I have no reason to stay."
Shalee furrows her dark brows as he put the cigarette out on the back of the sofa. "If you say."
Raphael stood up and climbed down off the couch. "Well, I think this has gone on long enough."
Shalee stood up. "I should go, then."
"Come here, first."
Shalee took a few steps closer to him.
Raphael smiled at her and reached out, grabbed her gently and pulled her towards him into an embrace. He huggued her somewhat tightly and whispered into her ear. "Some part of me will always love you. Goodbye, Shalee." He had hoped that she'd try to talk him into staying, but now accepted that there was nothing left, and this is her way of telling him.
Shalee relaxed in his embrace, the first time she'd really relaxed since coming there. "A part of me will always love you too."
Raphael held the embrace for a few more seconds before he let her go.
Shalee gave him a lingering look before she pulled away completely and headed for the door.
Raphael disappeared into the naval academy, and Shalee continued fighting in the crusade. A short romantic relationship rebounded between her and Eran, but they were unable to keep it up. Eran continued to cling to her nonetheless. Shalee became more involved in her attempts to prevent slaves from being taken in the newly conquered systems.
Raphael and Shalee didn't see each other until late in the 12th month, and even then didn't speak to one another. Raphael began to get more time off from the academy classes as they became more advanced and included field work. In stark contrast to Shalee's freeing of slaves, Raphael began to round up unlawfully escaped slaves. the two would exchange a few words in the Public Hall in the middle of the first month of YC 113, almost in passing.
When Raphael learned more of Shalee's activities from others, he decided to invite her out to dinner, which she accepted. It had been two long, busy months since the last time they both had any sort of real interaction. He took her to the grand dining hall in the academy, a lavish place reserved for the highest echelons of command, and eased into conversation. During it, he asked about her estate in Adia, a place she had shown him already and a place he had offered to help her with when she wanted to use it as a safe house for the refugees she saved. A place he was sure housed some now. After the dinner, he invited her back to his room in the academy.
14th day of the 1st month, YC 113
Raphael Saint entered the security code, opening the door. As it slid open it revealed the room's lush and ornate interior. "Ring any bells?"
Shalee glanced around and shook her head, "Nope." She pulled away from him to have a look at things. "It's nice though."
Raphael frowned lightly. "Well, it was a little dark last time." The many lights along the joint of the wall and ceiling illuminated the place, revealing a suite-like interior with a large window into space.
"It's really nice. I like it very much."
"Well, we are important people. Thirsty?"
"Sure. Suprise me."
Raphael walked over to the small kitchen enclosure. "Well, it won't be too much of a suprise. I figured more wine, unless you'd like something else."
"Wine is perfect."
Raphael poured two glasses of wine and carried them over to her, handing her one while taking a sip of his own. "I enjoy it here."
Shalee nodded her head. "Thank you." She took a long sip of the drink as she wandered over to the sofa and sat.
Raphael walked behind the sofa and leaned over the back of the vacant seat. "It's quiet here, and I have every comfort. A far cry from where I came, but I'm definately getting used to it."
Shalee glanced up to him. "I can imagine."
Raphael smiled. "You've been living in luxury for a while now, haven't you?"
"Always, really."
Raphael continued to smile, looking out across the room. "Hmm."
"Hmm?"
He looked back to her. "I was just thinking."
"Care to share?"
Raphael smiled at her again. "I probably shouldn't. Not all of it was proper."
"We're old friends, what could be improper?"
Raphael frowned lightly. "The past. What we used to be. How we used to be."
"Oh. Well. I thought we were living in the moment. Not the past."
"I just thought about our apartment in Choonka, which of course shot off in all directions. That place was huge."
"It was very nice."
"It was. Pricey, too."
Shalee nodded.
"Quite a few memories of that place. I think the only bad one was cleaning it out."
Shalee shrugged. "I spent a lot of time alone there, after you left. I have mixed feelings about the place."
Raphael looked over at her. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't take you. Well, where is your main residence now? Huola?"
"The Keep. And if I'm on the front, then Huola. Tho I do have a small place in Kourm too."
"Ah, yes, the Keep. I had almost forgotten that place. I think the kitchen is my favorite part."
Shalee blushed. "Ah. Yeah. The kitchen is quite nice."
Raphael smiled. "Quite." He took another long drink from his glass and looked over at her mischieviously. "I guess it's better for Aldrith's sake that we spilt up before the Keep came along."
"Why is that?"
"Well just imagine how the place would smell."
Shalee quirked a brow.
Raphael laughed slightly. "Really? You don't remember our habit of...marking our territory?"
Shalee shrugged. "I remember things."
Raphael frowned lightly again and turned back to looking across the room. "Oh, well...anything useful?"
Shalee blushed again, saying nothing.
Raphael took another sip from his drink.
Shalee finished her glass of wine. "It's getting late."
Raphael downd the last of his glass as well. "Yeah, should probably retire. If you don't feel like traveling, I can sleep here," he said, indicating the couch. "The bedroom has a separate lock, and a manual key." He procured it from his pocket, dangling it. "Part of my recent training has been to learn how to..."
Shalee rolled her eyes. "Do you really think I'd feel the need to lock you out?" She asked, cutting him off.
"I don't know. I was just filling you in on everything."
"You're crazy. But I will stay, a little too tired to be heading back now."
"Well, I don't really have any clothes you could change into tomorrow, but I think there are a few outfits of mine you could pull off. Be a little large, though."
"I'll wear this back, wont sleep in it. I'll grab one of your teeshirts to sleep in?"
"Works for me. Though it'll have to be a dress shirt. That ok?"
"If it's all you have...what do you sleep in?"
"Mm...nude, recently, but I guess it'll be my underwear tonight. If you don't want the dresshirt, there are some uniform undershirts. Almost like tees."
"That will work. To save me from rummaging from your stuff, want to go lay it out for me?"
"Sure. Here, I'll show you where it is. Anything I've hidden is just that, not in my sock drawer." Raphael laughed as he walked over towards the bedroom door, opening it with the key.
Shalee laughed as well. "Alright. Lead the way."
Raphael entered the bedroom and opened the walk-in closet. Hung on a rail going around the room were several naval uniforms, a KotMC one, as well as some business suits and the undergarments for each. He took a set of an undershirt and boxers on a hangar from the rail and handed it to Shalee. "Here. Should have plenty of room to move around in there."
Shalee took it from him. "Alright, thanks."
Raphael stood there, waiting.
"Um...Can I ask you something?"
Raphael looked at her curiously. "Yeah, what?"
Shalee turned her back to him. "Can you unzip me? I have a ladies maid at the Keep...it's where I thought I'd be taking the dress off at.."
Raphael raised his brows in surprise. "Oh, sure, of course." He reached forward and slowly unzipped her dress, stealing a couple furtive looks.
Shalee held it to her as it started to come undone. "Thank you." She stepped forward out of her heels. "I guess I'll get changed now." She started for the closet to change inside of it.
"You don't need to close yourself up in there."
"You want to watch me change....?"
"Well, it's not like I haven't seen it all before. Unless you've gotten something new."
Shalee turned to face him, holding the clothes to her, the dress slipping off of her shoulders. "I'm not having sex with you," she said stubbornly as she moved her hands, letting the dress slip to the floor.
Raphael couldn't help but smile. "I didn't say anything about sex. I just wanted to make sure there weren't any problems with the clothes I gave you." He took a second to admire her.
Shalee moved over to the bed in her panties and bra, clutching the clothes to her. She pauseed at the foot of the bed, her back to him as she laid them down, freeing her hands to unclasp her bra.
Raphael took a few steps forward so as to stand behind her and looked over her shoulder at the borrowed clothes. "I don't think there will be any problems, though."
Shalee slid the bra off. "No, I think it will be fine." She picked up the shirt and turned around, the center of her cheeks blossoming with color. "Did you want to see..." she said a bit provocatively. "Is that why you're so close?"
Raphael looked her from toe to head, his gaze settling on hers. "Do you want to show me?" he almost whispered.
"As long as you don't touch..." She hooked her thumbs onto the sides of her panties and dragged them down, still holding his shirt. She stepped out of them then straightened up, standing completely nude in front of him.
Raphael had followed her movements as she undressed. He looked back up at her, a hand reached up to lightly touch her elbow. "You're still as breathtaking as I remember."
"Thank you."
He moved his hand slowly up her arm. "Still so soft, warm."
Shalee got goosebumps beneath his touch. "You weren't supposed to touch..."
Raphael took another step closer, the space between them minimal. "Forgive me, Shalee," he uttered, his hand on the side of her neck now.
Arousal streaked through her as quick as lightning striking. "No. Now you go in there and let me get some rest."
Raphael brought his hand up to craddle her cheek. "No kiss goodnight for an old friend?"
"I'm afraid where it'd lead."
Raphael sighed in desire. "It'd lead only an inch back, to the bed behind you."
"Exactly. I'm not ready for that. Goodnight, Raphael.."
Raphael sighed in slight disappointment and brought his other hand to her other cheek as he kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Shalee."
Shalee smiled with a blush. "Sweet dreams." She quickly pulled the clothes on and climbed into his bed.
Raphael tossed the key next to her. "You too. You're safe." He exited the bedroom, the door closing behind him.
"That...." Raphael beings, a slight smile on his face. "...Was unexpected." His face turns a bit sour. "Of course, my resurgance of appearances at the Keep while conducting my business caused me to run into everything that I had left behind. A still mopey and lethargic Eran desperately clinging to the woman who didn't want him, affections practically forced onto her. To see the man she left me for so pathetic, it pissed me off," Raphael rants, taking another drink from his flask.
More arguements and antagonism erupted between Raphael and Eran. In an effort to just break Eran's obession on her and put himself back together, Raphael used any and all facts against Shalee that he could.
"Of course," Raphael says annoyedly, "he went running to her like a child to it's mother and told on me. Luckily, I was able to explain and smooth things out with her. I did, expectedly, lose all respect for the man, however." Raphael takes another quick sip from his flask. "I also got to meet mister Charles Raine, Shalee's first husband, and we got along quite well. But then, he didn't conduct himself like a sniveling fool."
Encounters between Shalee and Raphael were sparse and codrial over the months, the opposite of every encounter between Raphael and Eran. In the 2nd month Raphael observed what seemed to be a romantic relationship developing between Shalee and Predator Elite, a well known and popular FC in the militia. He didn't ask her and as he and she only spoke now and then in cordial encounters, Raphael wasn't aware and cared little for what was going on.
Raphael began to cultivate a friendship with Karmilla Strife, a woman who shared common experiences and beliefs. The two quickly became drinking partners and discussed the woe in the direction that the Knighthood was taking. Raphael finally found an ally within the Knighthood.
When Raphael's stay at the Academy came to a screeching halt, it was Shalee who came looking for him. However, she was of no help to him and it was another corpmate, Rin Kaelestria, who would bail him out.
Once out, Raphael rejoined the Knighthood full time. He noticed an increased level of activity from Shalee's holograhical projection, Red, to the point where she was appearing every day. Red's existence became a point of contention among the other Knights, most worried about her but few besides Raphael wanting to do anything about it. When Charles Raine told Shalee about Red's existence, the hologram became yet another topic for Raphael and Shalee to argue over.
Things wouldn't get better between the two until Shalee finally confronted him about a gift he had given her a month prior.
13th day of the 3rd month, YC 113
Raphael reached a chair and table in the Keep's Library and took another look at the bookcover. He frowned a bit before he put it down and headed back towards the shelves. He passed an aisle before he stopped and took a few steps backwards, having caught a glance of something. "Shalee?"
Shalee Lianne sideglanced. "Hmmmm?"
"I thought that was you. What're you up to?"
"Looking for a book."
Raphael frowned lightly. "Well, of course, but which?"
"Tristan and Isolde. Its very, very old."
"Everything in here seems to be."
Shalee nodded. "And it's why Im looking here," she said in a dull tone.
"How many of those Harbingers do you still have? I hope you're taking care of them."
"Most of them. Thank you...do you need them back?"
"Need them back? Of course not, they were gifts. I lost the receipts, anyways." he said with a hint of a smile.
Shalee turned around and crossed her arms as she leaned against the book shelf. "So why did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Give me all of those ships."
"Do you not want them?"
"Of course I want them. But why? Why did you do it?"
"It would probably be poor practice to give you a 'why.' Would almost be like I expected something in return."
"Do you?"
"They wouldn't be gifts if I did. They'd be a bribe, payment."
"You still haven't said why."
"I told you I wouldn't give you a why."
"Always so stubborn."
"I could say the same about you. Why do you need a reason?"
"Curious."
"Well, you'll just have to accept them."
"I already have."
"Well, you took them, but you didn't accept them. Just enjoy them, and try to make them last."
Shalee frowned, taking it as an insult of some sort. "Really? You act as if I'm some sort of pilot who is brash and reckless with her ships."
"Not at all. But you are out there a lot, and that means you'll lose them. I'm just saying not to join too many of those Predator style fleets where you're in over your head."
Shalee furrowed her brows. "But I like flying under him more than anyone."
Raphael sighed and shrugged. "Fine, lose them all in a single day under his watch."
Shalee stuck her tongue out at him.
"Mmhmm."
"You're always so smug, you know that?"
Raphael frowned. "I'm afraid you misread me. I am very, rarely, 'smug.' "
Shalee scoffed. "Ha."
"You disagree?"
"Mmmhmm."
"But of course you do," Raphael muttered.
Shalee shrugged.
"When, then, am I smug?"
"All the time."
Raphael frowned. "Well I can guarantee you that you're wrong."
"Guarantee? But how?"
"Because I think I would know if I was smug or not."
"Unless you aren't aware of it."
"How can one be unaware that they're smug?"
"It's just your natural personality."
"My personality is not smug, Shalee."
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know, but it's not smug."
"Mmmm. If thats what you think."
Raphael frowned heavily. "Well you best make those Harbingers last, Shalee, because you're well on your way to ensuring that they'll be the last you get from me." He began to turn away to head back to his book.
"Wait."
Raphael turned back to look at her, the frown still on his face.
Shalee said nothing as she looked at him, noting the frown.
Raphael waited patiently, though was about to go if she didn't say anything soon.
Shalee pushed away from the book shelf and neared him, her chin tilted up ever so slightly, blue gaze locked on his face.
Raphael's frown changed to one of confusion, his eyes tracking hers.
Shalee stared at him, her heart skipped a beat, pulse erratic. She stood there as if waiting and still said nothing.
Raphael looked at her a moment longer before he quickly placed an arm around her waist and pulled her to him and leaned in to kiss her.
Shalee parted his lips with her tongue as she slipped an arm up around his neck, laid her palm on the back of it, and kept his head in place.
Raphael pushed her up against a bookcase, his hands dropped to her lower back. His kiss got a bit more forceful, his tongue went into her mouth now.
Shalee placed her hands against his chest after she broke the kiss and still said nothing, her breath a bit ragged, her cheeks flushed.
Raphael looked down at her after she broke the kiss. "How'd we get there from 'smug?' "
Shalee shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I wanted to kiss you, so I did," she said after a moment of silence, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Impulse."
Raphael pulled her against him. "And how often do you get these impluses?"
Shalee shrugged her shoulders again. "I don't know."
Raphael dropped his hands to her ass and pulled her forward as he pushed against her. "Not often enough, I reckon."
Shalee winced a soft little sound as he pressed against her. She glanced around. "I don't think this is a good idea....not here."
"I don't know, I let you get away once already."
"...take me to your room."
Expecting this rebound in the relationship to be nothing but a short term fling like that last one, Raphael did not stay the interest he was developing for a noblewoman involved in the crusade who was visiting the Keep often, Ekaterina deSilvestris. Soon after Knighthood's 1-year anniversary Raphael found that Karmilla Strife was hoping for more than a mere friendship.
"So," Raphael begins, "I tried to explore my options and dated them both, but pursuing neither. Nothing serious, just simple dinner dates and an Opera show with Karmilla. However, Shalee and Karmilla acted like I was sleeping with every woman I came across. Well," Raphael begins to admit, "my few encounters during that time were a bit...heated."
7th day of the 4th month, YC 113
Raphael Saint knocked on the door to Shalee's room in the Keep. "Shalee, you in?"
"Come in," came Shalee Lianne's reply through the door.
Raphael entered, but left the door slightly ajar. "Ah, thank you."
Shalee looked at him curiously.
Raphael grinned slightly at her. "I brought you something, decided to make a return."
"You brought me something?"
Raphael nodded. He whistled and a Slaver Hound came rushing in and sat at Raphael's feet. "I thought I'd return him to his master. I know he's not Auga, but he is yours."
Shalee looked to the puppy then to Raphael. "Why?"
"You don't remember? He's yours." He looked to the dog and spoke in a sad voice. "It seems she forgot about you," he said. The dog whimpered in response.
Shalee called the puppy over to her, patting the sofa. "From the tournament?"
Raphael nodded. "I saved the poor fella from the can you left behind."
"No idea how he got in there."
Raphael laughed. "Well at least I found him."
"Yes, thank God. Poor little thing could have died."
Raphael looked around the place and noticed the tub for the first time. "Hell, you've got everything up here, don't you?"
"Of course. It's where I live...when I'm not in Huola."
"Yeah, but I had no idea it was all inclusive."
"You act like you've never been up here before."
"I guess I just wasn't paying attention." He looked back to her. "Something else must have been holding it the whole time."
Shalee stroked her fingers across the puppy's head, petting him as he tried to lick her wrist. "Uh huh."
"Is it bad if I'm jealous of that dog right now?"
Shalee wrinkled up her nose. "Don't."
Raphael frowned lightly. "Why not? You seemed to enjoy yourself last time."
Shalee rolled her eyes. "Go tell Karmilla that?"
"You want me to tell Karmilla that you enjoy my company? Why?"
"You're pursuing us both."
"I told you I'm pursuing you only. I haven't even seen Karmilla in days."
"Does she know that?"
"I'm prety sure she's aware we haven't seen each other for a while."
"Very well."
Raphael closed the door behind him with his foot and took a few steps forward. "Speaking of jealousy, is that what you with Pred was all about?"
"Hmm?"
Raphael continued walking slowly towards her. "Coming into Huola Haze all gussied up, holding his hand and making wild insinuations."
"I've kissed him."
He narrowed his eyes a bit. "And you were all over me for Ekat kissing me."
Shalee smirked. "Im not pursuing anyone. And anyhow, it was two nights ago."
Raphael stopped when he was right in front of her, leansed over her, and braced himself against the back of her sofa, his arms on either side of her. "So you're telling me you're not looking for more of our fun?"
She lifted her chin, "Nope. I'm not looking for anything."
Raphael leaned in to kiss her. "You're such a bad liar."
Shalee made no move to push him away as he kissed her.
Raphael kissed her lightly on the lips before he cocked his head to the side and trailed down her neck.
Shalee whimpered a soft little sound.
Raphael brought his hand to her cheek as he kissed the other side of her face. "You want this as much as I do."
"Nope. Not at all."
Raphael grabbed hold of her arms gently as he took a seat next to her and pulled her to sit in his lap.
"However, that was all short lived. A few weeks, at the most. Karmilla ended up sleeping and running off with Vincent Pryce, Ekaterina disappeared into a duty assignement, and things between Shalee and I just went back to the way they have been since the engagement," Raphael said, concluding the matter.
The two returned to a work-only relationship, with only a few 'hello's and passing comments between the two if they ran into each other during the day. This strictly professional relationship would be reinforced a week later.
23rd day of the 5th month, YC 113
-LINK ESTABISHED: AUDIO ONLY-
Shalee Lianne > Ah. Go ahead. Your mail has me intrigued.
Raphael Saint > I thought it might.
Raphael Saint > I heard it through the grapevine that you almost left KotMC.
Shalee Lianne > Yeah. I did.
Raphael Saint > I heard it had something to do with the company you keep.
Shalee Lianne > Thats one reason yes.
Raphael Saint > God knows I tried to correct that behavior. But no more. Now, I want to use it.
Shalee Lianne > Use it? But how?
Raphael Saint > I want you to work for me, Shalee. Unofficially.
Shalee Lianne > Doing what, precisely?
Raphael Saint > Doing only what you do now. Drinking, talking.
Shalee Lianne > And how is that for your benefit?
Raphael Saint > I just want you to tell me what you hear.
Shalee Lianne > I don't understand.
Raphael Saint > You just keep doing what you're doing, Shalee, and if you hear anything that might interest me, I just want you to share.
Shalee Lianne > Well uh....alright.
A week later, Raphael attempted to enlist Red as well, but she refused on the grounds that he had tried to get rid of her.
"You try to get rid of an infectious AI/subconcious projection that leaks corporate secrets, goes anywhere it wants, and can cause Shalee to pass out whenever it wishes to manifest an suddenly you're the bad guy," Raphael says, shaking his head.
"Two weeks after I set her loose to put those social skills to good use and I finally got an intel report; A poor, sad excuse of an intel report. She gives me nothing but a theory and then tells me to go confirm it or not. As if I could go into the pirate bar she was hanging about and get her contacts to just open up to me," Raphael says, shaking his head. He goes to take a drink from his flask before stopping short. "Oh, and get this, she told me that she was starting her own intelligence unit and that I 'worked for her' now. Took pretty much all of my willpower and good grace not to tell her to go fuck herself."
This arrangement would be shortlived as well, as only two weeks later Shalee would awake after a podding with an old backup, effectively erasing all of her memories of being a capsuleer. However, Raphael would soon contact this new, impressionable Shalee.
Urgent Assessment
From: Raphael Saint
Sent: 2011.07.01 00:57
To: Shalee Lianne,
Divine Commodore Lianne,
It has recently come to my attention that you seem to have lost some of your memory and are confused. If you could please, I must do an assessment of your capabilities to see if you are still fit to serve.
I hope everything is okay.
-Raphael Saint
Colonel, Amarr Navy
Amarr Navy Liason
"I began to attempt to establish her as the Divine Commodore she was, and hoped to instill a bit more of an Amarrian charm in her," Raphael says, looking into his flask, checking the level and finding it very low. He sighs.
Raphael's first step was to make her feel like she was a high ranking naval official, referring to her as 'Commodore' and 'ma'am' until she ordered him to refer to her as just 'Shalee.' He also knew that every Divine Commodore needed a flagship.
4th day of the 7th month, YC 113
"Do you like it?" Raphael Saint asked. He had taken Shalee Lianne aboard an archon-class carrier, inviting her to eat with him in the Captain's Quarters onboard.
Shalee nodded "Yes, it's yummy." She took another sip. "Do you want to taste it?" She asked as she slid her milkshake across the table.
Raphael looked at the shake before smiling up at her. "I meant here, Miss Lianne. Our locale."
Shalee pulled her drink back, blushing. "Oh, sorry." She shrugged as she looked around. "It's a bit ...pretentious. I mean, theres a really good diner near my apartment you know, we should have gone there, you wouldn't have had to pay for all of this. Not that I am complaining, it is nice and everything."
"Well," he said, sliding a datapad across the table to her, a contract displayed on the screen. "I guess you'll have a lot of redecorating to do."
"I also tried to appeal to the young girl mindset she now had," Raphael says, staring at the flask.
18th day of the 7th month, YC 113
"Thank you though, it is very much appreciated," Shalee Lianne said. She had come to see Raphael Saint at his request, bringing a picnic basket to his office in Iesa.
"Definately coming into the element of a Divine Commodore. That definately calls for something else." Raphael took a bite of his sandwhich before he put it down and picked up a briefcase from the floor, laying it on the table.
Shalee took another bite of her apple as she watched him, her brow raised.
Raphael turned it to face her and slid it across the desk, placing it right in front of her.
Shalee looked to the briefcase. "What is this?"
"Open it."
Shalee chomped into the apple with one hand while she opened the briefcase with the other. "....hope nothing is going to jump out and bite me," she said with a mouth half full. She pulled out a shirt. "You bought me a shirt?" She grinned, her expression still quizzical. "But why? These things are enormously priced."
"You need to look the part of a mighty Commodore, no?"
Shalee held the apple with her teeth and stood up to unbutton her overshirt and leave it in the chair. She slid on the new one. "What do you think?" she asked in a muffled voice.
"Quite excellent, if I saw so myself. Both elegant and commanding. A true leader."
Shalee spun around to show it off. "What do you think?" She preened.
Raphael smiled, pleased that she was so excited about it. "I love it, of course."
Shalee wandered to the opposite side of the desk and hugged him impulsively. "Thank you!" She glanced around the office wondering if there were a mirror available. "Where's the bathroom I want to see it."
Raphael was a bit surprised by the hug but gave her a quick squeeze in return before he gestured to a door to the side which led to a private executive bathroom.
Shalee dashed off to the bathroom and posed in front of the mirror, the door still open. "Very, very snazzy if I do say so myself." She glanced outside. "I still can't believe you got it for me though. You're very indulgent."
"Indulgent?"
"Seems that way. A flag ship and now this."
"Is it not helping you feel more at home with the Navy and the Crusade?"
Shalee shrugged lightly. "I think so?" She stepped back out into his office.
"Well I certainly hope so or else I'm not doing very well." He took another bite of his sandwhich and looked her over.
Shalee moved over to the basket and grabbed a sandwich. She unwrapped it while leaning against his desk. "Can't wait to show it off." She said, thinking about how envious everyone at the Keep would be!
Raphael smiled. "Good." He leaned back in his chair a bit. "Don't be afraid to flaunt it."
Shalee grinned. "I wont." She slid back, sitting on his desk beside the picnic basket.
"I should've gotten her shoes, too," Raphael grumbles. "Maybe then she would have listened to what I told her that night."
[ 2011.07.18 05:39:08 ]
"Well I must warn you that all who act familiar with you are not friends," Raphael said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean everyone that acts friendly towards you is not a friend to you."
"You are....well known...in many circles."
Shalee nibbled her sandwich while she swung her feet slightly. "Like who?"
"I'm sure a man by the name of 'Tigerfish Torpedo' has contacted you recently."
Shalee nodded her head. "Yes, of course. Why...." Her expression grew worried. "What's wrong with him?"
"Quite a bit. Stay on your guard around him, and definately bring someone along with you whenever you can. I'd advise to just not go anywhere near him, but I doubt you'll take that advise."
"What's so bad about him?"
"Despite that fact that he used to be -and there's still some doubt on the 'used to' part - the right hand of Revan Neferis, the self proclaimed queen of the Blood Raiders and mass murdering, fashion-obsessed psychopath, he's done quite a bit himself to earn a KOS rating with many, many Loyalist organizations."
"But he has reformed."
"He has not had enough time to reform."
Shalee furrowed her dark brows. "But how can you know that?"
"And he has contradicted himself in public many, many times. Excusing each one as 'just a joke.' A weak excuse for such repeats, at best."
Shalee sighed. "Very well then. I'll keep that in mind."
"I'm sure she was thinking of just that as she fucked him," Raphael says angrily. "I'm also sure that the fact that she has the mind of a seventeen-year-old turned the sick fuck on even more."
"Which brings us to what you told me earlier, your reaction on that shuttle," the monk said, bringing Raphael's long account full circle.
"Exactly," Raphael said with a nod. "This two-year long comedy of mistaken identies has finally come to an end."
"Do you always drink while confessing?" The monk asked, raising a brow.
"Actually, this is the first time I've taken a drink from this in celebration," he said, gulping down the last bit of alcohol. A very tiny part of him protested that statement before fading away forever.
